Sorry...

I truly am sorry.
I don't know what else to say to make it right.
I don't know how else to say it to make it all go away.
I know what I am going to do would truly hurt you,
I also know that I am going to have to do it anyway.
If there was another way, truly I would have gone in that direction.
You have to understand, this is not about you. It has never been about you. this is all about me.
You see, I am very different. You don't know me, and am afraid I truly don't want you to.
I have lived this long and so far only because of the way I live now, and I cannot change that now. For now, I guess I feel am fine the way I am. I feel safe as I am. I know I have hurt you, and that I am not making any sense. Believe me, I really do. I truly understand how you feel, but then you don't understand how I feel, and I can't say it to you. Don't ask me why, thats not important right now.
I guess all am truly and really trying to say is that...I am sorry...from the bottom of my heart...you truly have to believe that, for if you don't believe me, then I sincerely do not know what I would do.
Please believe me, and trust me, this is all for the best. Trust me.

Mi

Sometimes, Somehow, Somewhere...

Sometimes I feel like I am meant to fly, to fly and go some place else.
Sometimes I feel like I am missing something, or am searching for something that I still do not know.
Sometimes I wish it would all come clear, that it would all make some sense to me no matter how little.
Sometimes I feel like some things are clues. That some how, some things have happened and my tomorrow and yesterday are too linked and affect my today more than usual.

Somehow I feel like there was once upon a time in my life, once upon a time, a fairy tale now to me as I do not remember.
Somehow I feel like there is a part of me somewhere. I mean I know I am not a twin, but somehow it feels like there is some part of me out there that I am yet to find.
Somehow I feel weird and a little crazy. I mean I know I am different, but sometimes I just wonder how different.
Somehow I know that somewhere out there, I will find an answer.

Somewhere out there, I know I would see it. If I only look and truly believe.
Somewhere in time, I know we would come together. I know I sound insane and fairy tale like, but I couldn't explain it to you other wise even if I tried.
Somewhere in life, I met someone and something. I say somewhere because I do not know if that place is in my past, present or my future. I do know that it was and still is a life changing experience.
Somewhere I do not know however, I feel like I lost it all.

Sometimes I feel like it is all a fantasy. Yet somehow, I know it's not all in my head. Somewhere out there I know there is an answer for me. I know I would find what I truly do seek.

...maybe it is all a fantasy, maybe it is all a figment of my imagination...but sometimes, I know and feel that somehow, I was, am, or am going to be connected to someone and something, and somewhere I would stop, and look back and realize that what I was searching for, I truly have found...