The New Rules of LSD: Chapter 4

I know I am summarizing this book, but its so worth the read. I almost feel like retyping every sentence because it all seems too important to leave out.

Ps: some aspects of this summary are direct quotes. Chapter 4: So becoming.

* The healthier you are, the healthier your relationship will be. Your relationship will never be healthier than you.
* The strongest person in the relationship is forced to make up for the gaps left by the other party.
* As God created you, the ability for you (humans) to experience, develop and maintain a relationship is also a creation on its own.
* People don't get married to be fixed. They get married to be loved.
* God gave us instructions on how to have a healthy relationship in the New Testament.
* Make love a verb (a decision to do something despite how we feel): behave in love, not fall in love.
* Jesus didn't command His disciples to feel something but to do something (a new command I give you: love one another. John 13:34). But He also adds: love like He loves us (not like we, humans, love each other). I.e. Love unconditionally: love others as we are loved (by Jesus). Regardless of the other party's response.
* In a relationship where both parties expect the behavior of the other to carry the weight of the relationship, disappointment is inevitable.
* Ephesians 5:21: submit to one another (not a one way submission), out of reverence to Christ - as Christ submitted Himself to us when He leveraged His life for our sins (putting us first).
* To not submit means to invite fear. There is no fear in love, but perfect love drives out fear (1 John 4:18). Fear undermines intimacy.
* Perfect love = love expressed through mutual submission.
* Mutual submission = decision to trust and put the other person first; regardless.
* It's easy to submit to someone who has your best interest in mind (no fear/reason to resist). Conversely, someone who had your best interest in mind had submitted to you (chosen to leverage self for your benefit, putting you first). i.e. mutual submission.
* A relationship based on stand alone submission is dangerous. Mutual submission?? Worth waiting for.

Chapter 5:Love is

.... to be continued ....