...Kurosagi...Kurosagi...

*Spoiler alert: If you plan on watching the Japanese series Kurosagi, then don't read this...I truly did adore this series...just wanted to get it out there...
So in the end, Katsuragi was simply playing a game. Many people play games with life, but think of it only as a one round event, but with Katsuragi, I adore the fact that there was a reset button. When Kurosagi got caught, in every other persons game, that would have been game over. But Katsuragi got him out of jail (in less than 24hrs), got the main villain out of town and into hiding again, and then pushed the reset button. The game began again...
Lesson learned: life is a maze of games (already knew). A big arcade of some sort. But before you play, make sure there is a reset button so you don't burn out
...bang..
MI

...Bitter Sweet...

When I saw her smile in that dress, time stopped.
For those few seconds I stood, and I watched her radiate like the sun, standing next to the one she said she adored.
When I saw her in that dress, all I could think of was 'beautiful'.
She did not look fine, or pretty or okay, she was beautiful.
When I saw her in that dress, I was moved close to tears.
It was not the fact that she wore white and thus seemed pure at her wedding, but that dress...was as they say, made for her.
When I saw her in that dress, I couldn't help but feel the bite of the green daemon.
I wished for a second, that I was her. I wished for a second that I was radiating as she seemed to be. I wished for a second, that my life was as perfect as hers was for that second. For a second, I seemed... jealous...
When I saw her as she turned, I smiled a true smile for the first time in a long time.
Her eyes sparkled as she turned to look at him. You could tell that she had all her hopes and dreams and wishes in that one person. That one man who was human.
When I saw her smile, I thought to myself, another one of them. For that second the world is perfect, but then down the line she realizes that day, that oh so perfect day, was a once in a life time event.
When I saw her smile twitch, I thought to myself, Alas, it was but for a moment. Alas it was not to remain the 'oh-so-perfect' smile that I thought it should be. Alas, it was not so perfect...the smile...as everyone said it was...Alas, she was going to take the high road this time...

But then I saw her smile again...order had been restored in her world...and I thought to myself...Oh what the hell, life is grand, life is bland...life changes on a whim, and all you can do is flow with it.
But on this day she chose to be perfect.
On this day she really was happy.
On this day she chose her emotion.
On this day, she made time stand still. On this day, she defied life, fate and all her games...knowing fully well that in the end, she would have to pay for the rest of her life.
But on this day, she chose to make a deal with fate, and damn the consequences.
So when I saw her smile once more as she said "I do" I had to laugh...yet another fool dances to the tune of fate...knowing fully well the way the game ends...
But we can't help but cheer them on, as if to say this time, this time you both would be that one in a million to play this game and win...
This time, you both would defy fate and miss the game over tune...

Funny thing

So I could not watch the sun rise this morning because Carbondale has too many freaking street lights on at dark, (don't ask why I was up to watch the sun rise...too long a story to tell here), and it got me thinking about the fact that Nigeria and America have a lot of differences. Well I've been thinking about that a lot so whatever.
First off, there is the fact that while in Nigeria the host stands outside to watch the visitor drive off, you know as a sign of wishing them farewell, but here in the state, the guest watches the host walk back into his house. I mean they sit in the car while you walk back in before they drive off, to make sure you get in safe and don't get mugged on the way. That's pretty ironic to me cause back home, its the guy in the car who is in danger of getting mugged at night.
Then of course there is the reason I started this piece, the fact that agberos have stolen just about all the bulbs in the street lights in Nigeria you HAVE to see the sun rise when its dawn. I mean NEPA (well technically its PHCN but NEPA soundsa better) never turns on the electricity anyway, so we generally rely on the natural sources of light, being the sun and the moon. I think it is safe to say that there you damn well have to know when the night is over and the sun starts rising...because then you don't need ot keep your candles on anymore.
Americans have fun. It may be hiking, trick or treat at haloween, or just simply get on a bike and go racing, you know doing something fast. Nigerians sit and watch Americans have fun - in the form of TVs of course...lol
But all in all, with all the differences, I cant pick a side. So I choose earth as my home, and everything in it...all her ironies as well...

I do and I don't...

I don't want to be the only one that can control you,
Because this world is unpredictable,
And I never know when it would be my turn to leave it.
Yet I don't want another to be able to tame you,
Because then I would spend life wondering,
If she is better for you than I am.

I don't want to be second best,
Because then I would feel the need to work for you adoration,
Even though you may get insulted if you hear that.
What people never figure out is that I have an IOU complex,
But I want to be the only one legally allowed to be your burden,
And know and be able to believe that I pay by being there,
Because we know I have to pay...lol

I don't want to stay and stand the chance of getting hurt,
Because I have a feeling my heart is not as strong as it may look,
And that one false move would send it to pieces.
Yet I am tired of being called a 'run away bride',
Sometimes I want to stay and see what it's like,
Get rid of this wondering feeling once and for all.

I don't want to go for days without hearing from you,
Because I am terribly insecure, and my imagination is too active.
I have the single ability to mentally come up with more reasons
than a logical person should in that situation.
Yet I don't want to be the girl whose calls you ignore,
I don't want to be the one always making the first move,
Cause Lord knows I am horrible at that,
And I know at some point I'll start hating you for making me seem like a pest.

So I guess you can safely say I am best where I am now.
Between both doors, standing and smiling.
Sometimes I get sad and lonely, sometimes I am content,
But for now I would rather have both emotional coasters running,
Than walk into one door knowing I might shut down the one I prefer for good.
I am a dangerous game,
I am an easy complex,
But above all else, I am a girl that needs her smile responded to.