Voice of the wind...

Chrs
I charged you not to listen,
but you said to let you be.
I charged you not to look,
but you said you wanted to see.
Listen to the voice of the wind as she moves,
look into the eyes of the one you wanted to see.
The voice of the wind,
Tell you a tale.
The look in her eyes,
It's too late - Say goodbye!

Vrs
You met her in the cold,
She was one to behold.
You din't know her name,
But you fell for her game.
It all happened so fast,
You had no time to think twice.
If you only trusted me,
this won't be our song!

Chrs
Vrs
Evil was her plan
She descended from that clan
My word: I must now leave
My promise: You've been deceived
My wish: You had listened to me,
For then a different tone, this our song would be.

The whisper of the wind...

Vrs 1
With your right hand you caused the wind to blow,
And your left hand puts light into the sun.
In your spare time you give the birds a song,
We try to do and explain what you do,
But we can't cause it's you simply having fun.

With a simple touch you cause the earth to spin,
And for the heck of it, you make other planets do to!
Everything is so similar yet so different in life,
You alone could make it all happen!

Chrs
Cause you are awesome,
and wonderful.
The silent whisper of the wind, the music of the seas.
You are all powerful,
and glorious
You made the heavens and the earth,
with just one voice!
The whisper of the wind.

Vrs
You give and take in the twinkle of an eye
Life has no meaning unless you say it does
In the same way you made the flowers, you made the trees!
With one voice you said it shall, and it all is!
If the glory's not to you, then to whom shall it be!?!

With a finger you shield us from all,
And when we cry, you send a mighty army to fight our cause!
You always say, and mean, and keep your words,
Even when we make promises and fail!

Chrs

The trilogy: My promise...

Whenever you have two voices inside you, telling you what to do, go with the quite voice. You may think its the shy voice and the unsure one, but you are wrong. It is the voice within. It has come a long way to get the message across to you. It stays deep because that is where the good in you resides. Hidden away from the pollutions of this world. Hidden away safe and guarded, so it never gets hit by "in comings". Nothing can penetrate into its core. Believe me, I know. For it is hidden so deep, and guarded by several forces. Evil never gets past the first force, no matter how terrible a person may be.

Sure it gets weaker and weaker the more "in comings" you let in. It gets harder to fight as it makes it's way up. It looses more of it's strength as it comes to deliver its message, but it never gives up. It never, and would never die out no matter how hard the fight becomes. It plays no quitter's game, nor walks in the loser's way. It would make the journey, and amazingly, in time too!

This is my promise, no matter how horrible or shitty your life gets, no matter how far on the other side you think you may have gone, deep inside you, there is still some good. Yes it may be small compared to the rest of you, but deep down, there is still some good. This is why I don't think anyone doesn't have the right to live. One might kill and then keep on killing, making everyone believe that they don't deserve to live, but then when you take a second to look past your rage and hatred for that person, you probably would find a scared child within. Killing has defined that one for so long, that it becomes scary to think of going any other way. Soon he or she may tell him/herself that too many have died to turn back now. Thus they ignore that voice. But I promise when a hand is stretched out, and they know coming out, though it may bring them pain and much suffering, would not be done alone, they listen to that voice within, and let it be the guiding force for their next move.

The trilogy: My word...

U know when you are down under water, then after a while u start loosing oxygen and u need to come up for air? Well I think thats what happened to me, except that I actually came up almost too late, thus my almost drowning fiasco of last night.

I have never felt the way I felt last night. Do you know what it means to almost drown in yourself? Well I got that feeling for the first time last night. I felt like crying, laughing, screaming, dieing, living, running and hurting myself all at once. It was scary. One minute I was fine, and the next, I wanted out. Don't ask me out of what or where, cause I honestly can't say. I just felt I needed to let it out or get out of it! I guess was simply tired of being with myself. It's like being stuck in a cave with someone for too long, especially one of the same sex. You try to relax and enjoy the time at first, then you get bored, then tired, then frustrated, then sick of the person, and then you feel the desperate need to get out! The mere thought of going to bed, to be awoken to the sight of the same person is a "day mere" horrifying enough to keep you awake! Yet when you are awake, all you see is the same person and you are not sure which is the better option.

I might have drowned last night, and I would be telling a different tale from a different location right now, but the mere fact that I did not is proof that there really is a God. He has a way of intervening at the nick of time! But I must admit, it was a really terrifying experience. I cannot explain it properly. Here the cliche "experience is the best teacher" comes to play, yet I do not wish this experience for anyone I know!

They say life is what you make it, but am living proof that that is not always true. Sometimes you are given a scene to play in life that you never trained for. A scene that is totally not in you league. The thing about the stage in life is that once you are to play a part and the scene comes on, you cannot run off stage unless that is in your script. No matter how fast you think you are, or how hard you try to run, it is and would remain the same scene you are to star in for as long as it lasts.

Last night I learnt again one very true meaning and function of a friend. If you really think you are a loner, or that being one would sooth you best, think again. I tell you, it is better to live with someone and get sick of that person, that to live with yourself and get sick of yourself too... With someone, you can choose to ignore, be pissed, but you would get over it. With yourself, it is impossible to shut the voice in your head without hurting yourself. You just need a Father that knows when to step in like mine, and always has the right answer to all problems...

...take my word for it, the voice in your head should never be given enough liberty to control you, for it would destroy you in the end...

Random thoughts...

OK for those of you who knew this, you remember when God created the earth? He pretty much created everything with one purpose you know- live, reproduce, and just hang around and eat. Man was the only one who had extra activity, and that was to play babysitter/king whichever way you want to look at it. But who would have guessed that jumping from tree to tree and just living wasn't good enough for him! Noooo! he just had to run along and start questioning everything! Then he decided to give it all answers - I mean he asked and he answered, isn't that a typical busy body! -and then pass the message down his lineage! I mean It's bad enough he chose to via away from the original pattern of life God had chosen for him, couldn't he at least have allowed his descendants to fall back in line!



And the worst of the lot are the physicists, exp the astronomers! Why would I, or any one else for that matter, want to know about life and other forms on other planets!?!? I mean we get the fact that earth ain't special - thanks to Copernicus and Galileo's busy-bodyness - why must we be sour losers!?!?! You've lost! Sorry, you ain't the special COA of the universe, give it a rest already! But noooo- am starting to like that word - you've just gotta find out something to break that!

I mean even their own kind - Michelson - said everything there was to discover has been discovered, and all else is in the 6Th decimal. But a certain somebody thought there were two more questions left, so then he brings up the atoms! The atoms for crying out loud! They are meant to be invincible. Hello, not to be seen, don't know they exist, background, not there, pretend you don't know me, invisible!! And this was even in the 80'!! It's what,the 21st century? science is no where near closing down, yet then they said they had just two more questions and then they were done.

The person I feel for the most is God. When man makes it to heaven - even those going the other way - he's gonna be like "How did you make that tree?" and "Uh why are the trees different, how do you do that?" and "Uh can you teach me to do that?" and "Uh so how did you get here?!"
It's like we try to give an explanation for everything. We want to make sure everything blends and agrees with all our rules and laws. And if we don't have laws to work something, hell we simply make more laws and force it down the throat of others! How much different life would have been, if all we had to do was play, live and go tree-hopping...

...well what do you know? All this drama simply because my astronomy teacher said we'd be having a test yesterday, kept me reading for 6hrs straight, got me worked up, pissed, stressed and pretty much feeling dumb about a long list of stuff, only to give me 5 "true-or-false-right-the-letters-T-or-F-only" kind of test...But hey, like I said, it's random thoughts...

Hope this didn't offend anybody :)

...me and you...

This is a song I wrote and I truly love. It's called "me and you":

Vrs 1:
We'd stick together
through the wind
no matter how hard she-e blows

And we'd hold our heads up
in the clouds
no matter how deep a mess we're in

Chrs:
Cause since we're together
anyhow it goes
life with you always has a smiling face!
Cause in the eve of the dark,
when sweet melody's meant to be blue
You'd say I do, do, do, to you
and I do, do, do, bring a smile
And I do, do, do stick with you
And I do, do, do, its me and you.

Vrs 2
Sure fate would throw us
far apart
No matter how hard we-d fight
And time would run with
our lives too
But when we return, faith would have lost

Chrs

End:
Cause in the eve of the dark

when sweet melody's meant to be blue

You'd say I do, yes I do, yes I do, to you

and I do, do, do, do, do bring a smile

and I do, yes I do, yes I do, stick with you

and I do, do, do, its still me and you!

Well its pretty much self explanatory so....hope you like it as much as I love it!

I love ya!

-Mi

tres amigos...

Well that's definitely stretching it but what ever. We remind mi of them, in a way, so I'd leave it as thus and get on with my tale. Remember how there are those three, either two boys and a girl or a boy and two girls. Well in this case the latter is the case.

The boy is the brain of the group. Well technically I don't know this for sure, but as far as Astronomy is concerns, he is the only one who had any physics foundation so that gives him the title. (Hey! Someones gotta have it) He is sporty- i.e. rides a scooter, fun and funny and loves the cubs (I don't know why that's important, but it is).

Then there is the girl. She is in the LBC (don't try to understand that). She's definitely lost when it comes to the one thing they all share, Astronomy. But she is a musical person. I mean she plays an instrument. You can say shes the brain in other aspects like... (OK if we were tres amigos, I would be able to finish that). But she is funny, forever laughing, and it seems like not a darn thing in the world can fase her! She is the jolly one of the group. Yeah and she is not a cubs fan.

Then there is mi. As usual, the average player. She doesn't know anything about the sport they love, so she's not on any side. Definitely is not the brains in the class, but she does know something here and there when it comes to the subject. She knows more maths - which is amazing - than the girl. They laugh at everything together. They are both always lost, which is fine. Everyone loves company right? Well she still retains her post as the worrier of the group. She worries about missing class, being alone when she does get to class, and the most vital point of all, she worries that her fantasy, this fantasy of the tres amigos, remains what it is now, only a fantasy...

It's really easy to get carried away in one's fantasy. For her, it's even easier. She's got no friends in the real sense of the word- people you walk with, chat with and ACTUALLY have something to talk about, laugh with, and do everything crazily possible with. None around her anyway. Her roommate is, and would remain, a blessing. She is her friend to a point...no comments here... her church people, and did I mention she is christian? Well they are awesome, the best you can ever want. But then she remains a patriotic teenager. It's no ones fault they still leave her feeling empty and alone inside. She tries not to show it, but sometimes it wants to get out. Sometimes she just wants to scream and shout. Sometimes she wants to cry out. And yet other times, she just wants to talk to someone. To let it all out, to cry on a shoulder and know that after this, it would all be okay...

So the tres amigos have a fun life as it seems. Being crazy and living crazy, as long as the line permits. Little did they know though, that out of one lonely girls fantasy were they born. And in that same fantasy will they remain, if her worst fears are to come true....

...Only hope...

Theres a song thats inside of my soul,


Its the one that I've tried to write over and over again.


I awake in the infinite cold,


but you sing to me over and over and over again.





So I lay my head back down,


and I lift my hands and pray,


to be only yours,


I pray to be only your


I know now, you're my only hope...

- Only Hope, Mandy Moore

For some reason, I cant get this song out of my mind. Each time I hear, sing or hum it, it seems to reach a part of me. a part I cannot reach, yet I know I need to reach some how. A part I cannot understand. I think that's why I keep playing it. I try to understand it, try to see if it would make and bring some sense into my world. Each time I hear it, it brings a sense of...hope. I try to put it down in words, try to write it down, what ever it is. I try to see if I can understand it that way, but am not so lucky.

...Am cold...

It's the strangest and darndest thing you know. This feeling. To be cold both on the outside and ont he inside. I try and I try,but it cant seem to reach the many sources of warmth. There are people all around me, but I seem to have faded away, or blended into the background, because they really don't seem to know am here. I seem to be in another world, of a different time and place. Like am watching them from from another world, viewing them from a tinted glass. They all look warm from here. Inside, outside or even both ways for some! It's only me in this cold dark world.





...am awake in the infinite cold...you're my only hope...





Can't anyone hear me? My words seem to bounce back to me over and over again. It feels like am going under. I try to leave this world but its locked from the other side. I yell, scream, beg and plead. But nothing happens. Then you come along. Itry to scream again, but you walk by. you don't hear me. You don't see me.





Don't walk away from me I beg you! O please don't walk away! Don't walk away please, come back! Come back and set me free...You walk on as my voice fades. With the last strength and will I have, I wisper "come back...

...You're my only hope...

If today you see me cry...

She walked into the light,
hoping it would shine and make her bright.
But all it did was shine on her sight.
Who would have guessed that she would be living this way?
All alone with no one to call her own, she sat back and this she did say:
If today you see me cry,
Don't ask me why I cry on a day the sun chooses not to pass us by.
For I weep not for this day,
Nor for the suns blissful ray.
So if today you see me cry,
Know my life is at a point, it seems the sun has chosen to pass it by.


She sat back and looked around,
The pain in her heart had her bound.
Would it not be easier to go to another life?
But to win she knew she had to thrive.
Oh that this her mortal soul had such powers,
To create friends, enemies and even lovers!
For without them the world seems to move back and forth,
And in its dark middle she seems to be caught.
So she pleads, even to God, she'd say
If today you see me cry,
Know I wish you won't pass me by
I wish you'd stop to sit and chat,
even for a second, yes just for that!


So if today you see me cry,
Know it's not cause I lost my lullaby,
Know my real world chose to fly,
and am left in this new place, where to live I can only try....
But only if today you see me cry...

When is my now?

There is a darker side of Mi, one I fear the most. It is not because I do not know what it can do, it is rather the opposite. I try to fight it, I really do. Sometimes i win, most times I loose.It has a force too strong for the known Mi to handle. They say everyone has got their dark side, some people live through life without it coming up,k because they fought well,or had a good and strong army to help. Some people simply surrender to it without a fight, and their true side is not known to all. they are only identified by this dark side. Then there are those who try to fight it. Sometimes they win, most times they loose.

I always dream and wish. But like they say, if wishes were horses, poor men would ride. But I still wish anyway. Hoping that some day, someone would hear my cry and show me the way out. I see the way out, I just do not know how to get there. Each time I try and run to it, I think I have reached and I'm out. But I soon find my self in an even darker corner of this cage. A corner worse than the last one I was in. And then I cannot return to my last corner, as it seems like a heaven in contrast with my new hell, which seemed obviously closer to the way out for me now.

Once I had the life of the first class. I lived without the fear of this other me, I lived without the fear of the unknown. But then I tresspassed, and now I pay the price. This is why I say I wish I was ten again. When I unleashed this bitter evil upon myself. Life then seems like a dream to me now, one I can hardly even believe ever existed!

I have been told though that there is hope, there is a way out. They say there is a savior, and that he goes around rescuing those who he hears calling for help. I have called and cried, and each time I think I am crying louder, I feel am sinking deeper. Now I fear that I might be too deep for him to hear me. But they say nothing is too deep for him, this mysterious savior. They say he can reach even the darkest beyond, a place I dreed more than I care to share. Shall I still hang on? Do I still wait?

So here I lie in a new domain that I have run too. A fresh hidding place from my self. I fear Mi, I fear what I can do and I fear that I may do. What I do not want to do. I wish I could be bold like the others, or ignorant like the child. I wish I could tell how to get myself out of this, or go back in time and stop myself from getting into this. I ask myself why I do these things? I ask myself if I can stop myself in the end? Once I thought the answer to my last question was yes, but now I've learnt the hard way, that it is no. More like a hell no!

So I wait for the only one who is said to be able to set me free. I have met him, and I have felt him, but I have also lost him. I plead for another chance, and for help not to screw it this time. I plead for redemtion, and for a way out of this. I hate myself. This new darker me. I hate the lies and hypocracy it makes me play. I wish for a time when I can look back and know all this is in the past. I wish for a time I can look back and, like my other life, see all this as only a dream. I look up out of my cage, and with tears in my eyes, I plead for mercy. With tears in my eyes, I ask for help. And with tears in my eyes, I long to know "when is my now?"

Once upon a time

Once upon a time she was sure she had a definite answer, once she was sure she could tell. Once she was sure about her days.Once she was sure, but that was all once before. Many people say life sucks. They have friends, family and people around who love them and would shed tears at their death. She has all of those, except those around. Sometimes in life, those around are the ones that count the most. 
Once she had a tablet made of gold, telling where her life began and where it ended, for all to behold. The tablet stayed, but her beholders did fade.

Once upon a time I made a mistake I now pay for. Once upon a time I was ten, and I started something I now wish to stop. When you get a ball rolling from up hill, it is really hard to get it to stop when you want it to. It is not impossible, but it it impossibly difficult to do so. The best advice people often give is don't get the ball stated anyway. Why didn't anyone tell me this before I let it go? Now when I try to tell someone I want to stop, they ask why I ever started! It's hard enough gathering the courage to tell, it gets worse - the feeling - when you get that question!

Once upon a time I lived for a purpose, and that purpose I truly could tell. I was sure of it and even sure of the end, until fate took her stand and sent me off course again. I'm lost in a world of the unknown. Lost in a place and time of different circumstances from my last. I walk a lonely road in this new place. No one would help me for long, everyone is a friend to the new era. I alone seem lost, I alone seem alone. I alone seem to be caught between two worlds, one I wish for and one am given. I talk alot - mostly to my self - about the things that go on. All those who love me are far away, and when I try to talk to them, they say it will be okay. Is it I alone who knows that "will" is an indefinite term? Is it I alone who knows that "will" is synonymous for undefined? So I stick to me, because I can see what is going on truly, and I know better than to tell me it "will" be okay!

So each night when I lie in my bed, I dream. I dream about a world now far away, a world where tomorrow was known today. I dream of a time when the birds could sing, and I could tell their next lines before they got to them. I dream of a time when I had a plan, when things did not just happen, where fate lent a hand and did not lend a blow!

But most of all, I dream of Once Upon a Time...

Those things 2

SILLY TURTLE (Song)

There once was a turtle under a tree,
who stuck out his head and got stung by a bee.
He couldn't go to his mummy cause she'd told him to stay home.
He wouldn't go to his daddy, cause he'd said men should be bold.

So itsy bitsy turtle stayed under the tree,
With the pain in his hand, and tears in his eyes.
Forgeting that his mama loved him more than a home,
And his daddy cared less about men being bold,
as long as his baby was out hurt in the cold.

Silly turtle ,
Would you choose to die out in the cold,
than run along into their arms?
Silly turtle,
He’s pretty much the same as you and I today!

There once was a turtle who ran away from home,
and chose to be bold,
He got stung by a bee, under a tree, and died out in the cold.

-Mi

Those things 1

A SOLEMN VOW
For what is in a name,
That it must harm us thus?
I may not love thee,
For thy name in my father's book has no plus!
Defying him is no doubt a friendly thought,
But that of the consequences I do not trust!"

He has no money to his name!
This is but a childish game!"
These are the words on love my father shares,
Thus bringing to my eyes sorrowful tears!

"How can he call love a childish game?" I wonder
"Is this what he and mum share?" At this thought, I shudder!
For on this subject no matter what my father says,
As long as my love is with you, I have no fears.

Even the sun knows this is true:
For she shines and leads my way as I come to you
And yes the moon agrees wiht this:
For she always funds our romantic kiss!

Once I thought Id run away,
Believing all my father had to say.
But then i listened to the melody of the stars,
And it calmed my aching heart.
This is what they sang:

" How can something so beautiful be so wrong?
How can one choose not to dance to love's song?
What is in a name that love cannot conquer?
When even Heaven, Earth and Hell could not move her asunder!
For no one can stop the music when it starts to play,
But only those who started it, a fact true till ths day!"

So what is in a name, again I ask thee thus,
That this much sorrow should it cause?
So let us damn the consequences,
And forget my father's utterances!
I choose this day to love thee with a smile.
And if my father does strike?
Oh hell, I'd simply cry!

Mi