'In America, what we mostly have are companions....a friend is someone you can call at 2am and not feel guilty; someone you can turn to when something goes wrong....'
Finally, it clicked.
Being in Cali for over a year, I've struggled with this. I could not understand what was wrong, or why the idea of friendship I grew up knowing, wasn't making sense here. I spoke to my therapist a number of times about this. Telling her everyone I meet makes mi feel lonely because they don't feel like friends. Her response has always been, 'well there are different kinds of friends. You have friends you do your nails with; friends you study with.,,,' but that explanation never made sense to mi. Why are there different types of friends when there is only one definition?? Why have I never encountered this before now after all these years??
Because for the first time, I am finally experiencing America. They say Cali is the 'real' America; because it embraces the real culture of the country. Being an individual; looking out for the 'self'; having boundaries; land of the free.
Rather than lonely, this realization made mi both relieved and sad. Relieved because I can finally accept 'it's not mi'. Sad because this is it.
My friend once told mi 'if you stay here too long, you'll loose yourself'. So the battle against that is on.
I came to the realization a while back. But having a term for all this....I have many companions here, friends however....
to be continued....
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