For the past few days, I've been feeling off. It's been feeling as though I don't know what I'm doing all this for anymore. Not quite that either.
My BFF said its cause I get super invested into things I'm interested in, and then I get bored and want to move on cause I can no longer get the 'high'/ pleasure I envisioned. Which is a fact.
Only this time, I got invested in a 5yr contract thing. Now, I'm stuck.
It's not that I don't want to finish the program. It's that I want to get that rush of passion again, but can't even for something else cause I don't have time. I'm constantly thinking, what have I been doing with my life?? Any toast in my name will be quite academic only. That is very, very disappointing to think of. There is also the fact that the debits to my account have been increasing, and I can't really see the returns. Not earning my own, still living as a dependent, it's hard to not wonder if it's worth it.
So here I am, sitting in the dark of my own house and wondering, what's next??
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