Life of the party....

I don't want to keep apologising for who I am. 

I don't like feeling the need to apologise for who I am or how I am. 

Yet who I am/how I am most times feels wrong. 

Mentally, I understand that having certain traits does not mean you are a bad person. 

Yet I can't ever shake the feeling of guilt. The feeling of fear that I will 'get caught'. 

I think I have a shitty personality. People think I'm nice. I am, to a certain extent. But why don't I always think before I speak?? I don't have to be witty always, yet I feel naked when I'm not. And then I feel bad when I am. 

I feel bad because it's the dominos effect. Once the first sentence comes out, it sticks and they all fall down. 

Is there a happy medium?? 

I can't complain because in this story, I am not the victim ever. But it's okay to cry to you right?? 

I'll reset the hundred days. God help mi, I don't need something else on that plate. 

xoxo