The Girl Who Danced With The Snake (2)

Stupid scenario that played out in 1, considering the cause of her current woes - A and B - are the stars of the last show.
She was on the A/B team. She cheered them on, watched them grow and would have had the usual happy ending, had she not lingered on with them, like the fool she is here, and gotten herself into this current mess. Now, she isn't even sure there is any kind of cheering going on....

But she wishes them well, funny enough. Not sick, not sad, not pain. Just well. If going away is the only way they can be well, then pls, she will set them free.

H.A.G.L.
Have A Good Life. 

Cruelty Defined

You say you want to leave cause I'm a cruel person,
So let mi be cruel for you.
You say you want to leave cause I'm too cruel sometimes,
So let mi be cruel for you.

You said it was wrong for mi to walk out of a life whenever I felt like it,
You decided to walk into my life when you felt like it,
You decided to walk out as well when you gelt like it,
I'm yet to call you cruel.

You said it was wrong for mi to run away when it got bad. 
You decided to run cause you couldn't stand it/mi anymore,
You decided to run cause it was easier for you,
I'm yet to call you cruel.

You said I couldn't lie to you, and you understood mi best.
You decided to misunderstand/misinterpret all I say.
You decided to ignore my feelings cause you didn't understand,
I'm yet to call you cruel.

You said you could understand mi even when I don't say anything.
You decided, without telling mi, that statement was a bit of a stretch.
You decided I was bitter and you couldn't stand it. 
I'm yet to call you cruel.

Did you know it is easier to call a person cruel than to hear it being said??
Did you know it is easier to declare that a person as 'bitter' than to hear it being said??
Did you know it is easier to self-righteously leave than to be the one left behind??
Funny, as I'm yet to call you cruel.

A heart once scarred, knows how to be alone,
Understands how to be alone.
So I'd put my scarred heart back in place. 
I'd relearn how to make it heal.

A heart in pain, knows how to mend itself,
Understands its not the best healing.
So I'd put my pained heart back in place.
I'd relearn how to make it heal. 

I wish you a good life, 
Cause as you walk out that door, 
My heart closes with its sound. 
But its fine.
I'd mend again, I'd heal again, I'd be fine again,
Cause life continues. 
And this heart once opened, hurt and closed, never reopens again. 

He was human

He was gay,
He died.
His partner cried,
Society shunned.

Why though??

He was someone's child,
He was someone's hope.
He was someone's love,
He was someone's world.

He came out,
Got harassed.
Suicide.
His partner cried,
Society shunned.

Why though??

He also had a mother,
He also had a friend.
He also brought laughter,
He also brought joy.

He was,
He is,
He will remain,
Forever human.

Fair v Unfair

Funny how I ask to leave, at the appropriate time, and I get turned down. But then when it becomes too hard for everyone, like I thought it would be, when it becomes too congested for everyone, like I knew it would be, they all decide, maybe now is the time to flee. They all decide maybe being together is no longer conducive, and leaving is a good idea. 

Cute right??

Did anyone ever think it might be hard for mi now?? Did anyone ever think making mi stay when I didn't want to, making mi try to make it work when I didn't think it was a good idea, then telling mi to let it go might be just a little bit overly emotional for mi. 

Cruel she said.

Ya, maybe I'm cruel. Since in the end, I'm the one who is called cruel. In the end, I'm the one who needs to make random explanations. In the end, I'm the one who has to apologize to make everyone feel better. In the end, I'm the one who has to let it go and try and make it better. I do get hurt, but in the end, it doesn't really matter cause I'm the cruel one. 

Its my fault though. I'm the one who keeps expecting so much from people, I'm the one who gets hurt when that expectation is not met. I'm the one who trusts infinitely. I'm the one who gets hurt when that trust is broken. I'm the one who accepts all friends, and I'm the one whose friend gets told, in so many words, she is un-welcomed. 

I'm the one that pushes everyone away. I'm the one alone, like I knew from the start. I'm the one thinking 'maybe I could have endured a little bit, maybe I could have pretended I was fine for a little longer'. I'm the one that keeps writing and conducting the research on the fact that 'everyone leaves'.

I'm the one who is always right.

This time, before and probably next time.

Funny thing is, I'm still the one who would be asked what went wrong, held accountable and blamed, I'm still the one who would be called 'selfish' in the end. 
Maybe I really am selfish.
Maybe I really am cruel. 
Maybe I really deserve to be put here over and over.
In the end....

It's all mi in the end. 

lol, I should stick to South-east Asia, at least I understand them a little better.