What I Miss.

The sound of my heart racing, echoing through the walls of my chest and up my throat; as if to make its way out and into his arms. 

The mixture of fear and anticipation, my breathing getting faster as I try to force the air trapped just outside my lungs to make its way in and prolong my living. 

The thoughts in my head, my eyes surveying, analyzing, as I try to play mind reading games without the four clovers that adorned such feelings in my childhood. 

The pleasured pain; the bittersweet mix when he hurts me, we fight, make up and fight some more, as the pain in my head from all the crying and the relief in my chest from all 'I'm sorries' radiates through my body, encasing every part, inch by inch. 

The smile on his face and the look in his eyes, when he watched me speak like the words from my lips radiate like rainbow petals in the sun, mesmerizing and captivating, coaxing a gentle protective smile from him that makes me feel warm and tingly all the way. 

What I miss; I think I miss him.