How Are You??

I feel it creeping in. The sadness. The depressive feelings. The dysphoric mood. 

I feel it creeping in and it's hard not to let it take over. 

The strength to not break down and cry for a reason I cannot articulate even to myself is becoming more and more difficult to muster. 

The will to fight off the lonely feelings is becoming harder and harder to debate for. 

I should be used to this. That is why they are called episodes, no?? 

But I'm so tired. So very tired and I can't even say why.

Hopefully, I have enough reserve energy to continue pretending. 

Continue pretending so I don't have to think of an appropriate response for 

'how are you??'