....On Thin Ice....

I see the cracks,
stand,
stuck in the middle,
waiting for the shatter.

Joggling glass balls,
standing on thin ice,
lightly,
surrounded by fire.

I look yonder,
they've let go.
Balls in orbit, they suspended
against gravity.

He holds them up,
humans, balls and all.
The ice remains thin,
yet it holds;
because He commands it to.

I should let go.
I should step away.
I should let Him take over.
Why can't I let go??

How Are You??

I feel it creeping in. The sadness. The depressive feelings. The dysphoric mood. 

I feel it creeping in and it's hard not to let it take over. 

The strength to not break down and cry for a reason I cannot articulate even to myself is becoming more and more difficult to muster. 

The will to fight off the lonely feelings is becoming harder and harder to debate for. 

I should be used to this. That is why they are called episodes, no?? 

But I'm so tired. So very tired and I can't even say why.

Hopefully, I have enough reserve energy to continue pretending. 

Continue pretending so I don't have to think of an appropriate response for 

'how are you??'