The New Rules for LSD: Chapter 3

Welcome back!!

Here is the much anticipated next chapter (I'm amusing myself clearly).
The more I read this book, the more I want to give it out as a gift!!

Chapter 3: Becoming the right  person.
* Becoming the right person is how you prepare to commit.
* Right person: Are you the type of person the person you are looking for is looking for??
* Make a list of what you are looking for in a person. Would that person be looking for someone like you??
* Become intentional about becoming the person you're looking for.
* If you commit to prepare before you promise, it will dramatically increase your chances of crossing paths with someone who is preparing as well. Because preparing for anything sensitized you to meet people who share the same passion and direction. Aim for common ground that is more directional than recreational.

Chapter 4: So becoming.
.... To be continued ....

The New Rules for Love, Sex and Dating (LSD): Chapter 2

Back for chapter 2 of Andy Stanley's book on relationships. Forgot to add that some parts of these summaries are direct quotes and not my own thoughts.

Enjoy

Chapter 2: Commitment is overrated.
* A promise, vow or commitment cannot replace preparation for a relationship.
* Saying 'I do' doesn't make a person capable, only accountable. Accountable - Capable = Miserable
* How do you know if you/partner are prepared to commit?? Proverbs 14:15 Examine prior commitments, look at life's trajectory. FYI, people change yes, but people can't change people. People don't change for people. "Change requires fierce in-dependence that should eventually lead to inter-dependence with other healthy people.
* If you have concerns about the direction of your partner's life, give them time and space to change. You can't be their crutch. You may loose them, but that means they weren't the right person for you.
* If you say/hear these lines, press pause: I can't live without you, I can't make it without you, I'm not sure I want to live without you, I need you (and other similar chants). These are declarations of dependence.
* Commit - not to person or relationship - to preparing to keep you commitments later.

Chapter 3: Becoming the right  person.

.... To be continued ....

The New Rules for Love, Sex and Dating: Chapter 1

Stumbled upon this book by pastor Andy Stanley. More like saw it in my friend's bag and took it from her. Turns out to be more of an interesting read than I expected. Not that I was expecting it to be particularly boring either.
I've decided to do a chapter by chapter summary, so over the next few days, LSD (cause the name is too long) updates it shall be.

Enjoy.

Chapter 1: The right person myth
* The assumption - 'the is a right person for you and once you find your right person, everything will be alright.' There maybe a right person for you, but that doesn't mean finding them makes all things alright.
* Chemistry and attraction are important in a relationship. Chemistry requires time, it feels right doesn't always = it is right.
* You are sexually compatible with far more people than you are relationally compatible with. Sexual compatibility is not the test for relational compatibility. That should be the other way round. Sex can inhibit relational development, as it coulda your judgment. It is super glue. Don't add it unless you want two things permanent.
* You will be sexually compatible (SC) with the right person. SC doesn't make a person right though.

Chapter 2: Commitment is overrated.

.... to be continued ....

Happy Birthday Mi!!

27 at last....
It's my birthday today, yeaaa!!!!

Funny, this year, more than ever, I miss family and childhood friends.
I realised this a few months back, sitting at brunch with friends here. Someone else in the group had a birthday in January too, and there was a lot of discussion and suggestions for what to do for the birthday. No mention of mine.
To be honest, it didn't hurt then as much as it hurts now. Mainly, because in the last 72hrs, I've had a number of people ask mi 'what do you plan to do for your birthday.'
Odd.
For the first time in my life, I am faced with that dilemma. And now, even more, I miss those who know mi best.

But it's my birthday so nope, I can't be sad :)

I am grateful.

Grateful for the life I've had the privilege of living till now. Grateful for the opportunities and blessing that have been bestowed upon mi. Grateful for good health, shelter, food, an appetite, working body parts, parents, siblings, friends....truly grateful.

I don't know what the rest of the day will look like, but I am at least grateful I don't have to work today and can continue my annual tradition of having my birthday as a public-private holiday. I love winter because my two favourite holidays - Christmas and Jan 3rd - fall in the season.

Here is to a wonderful and spectacular new year, filled with lots of heavenly surprises, laughter and happiness!!

Here is to mi at 27!!

Happy birthday Mi!!!!

xoxo

We Remember

We remember those we lost.
We remember the things we lost.
We remember the relationships, connections, emotions and stories.
We remember the laughter, the love, the angers and the fights.
We remember the lives cut short by disaster.
We pray for the souls to continue to rest in peace.
We pray for the families to gain comfort and peace.
We pray for the nation to be healed and restored.

December 10th, we pray, we cry, we laugh, we smile,
We never forget....

Remembering our angels on this day, December 10th, 2015:

Kene Abba, Kelechi Adaka, Busayo Adebolu, Leke Adewoga, Boluwarim Adeyemi, Gabriella Aikhiobare, Wole Ajilore, Obongawan Akpan, Agu Akwiwu, Owanari Amachree, Chisom Awaji, Uzoma Awaji, Vivian Baa, Toke Badru, Chinenye Chigbo, Fanye Daniel-Kalio, Helena Edet, Chineonye Egbosimba, Uzo Egwele, Udeme Ekefre, Aniefon Ekereuwem, Amanze Ekwem, Ibra Ellah, Sandra Gbemudu, Nnanna Ibiam, Nnamdi Idabor, Chuka Ilabor, Nkem Ilabor, Buso Ilabor, Silvia Iroghama, Chibuzo Kamanu, Emma Loolo, Chiweoke Mba, Ijeamaka Mba, Augustine Monago, Linda Njoku, Obioma Nkaginieme, Ubani Nkaginieme, Chidera Nnaji, Ebuka Nnebedum, Emma Ntemuse, Hadiza Nwadei, Chioma Nwigwe, Stephanie Nwoko, Chidinma Nzelu, Adachi Nzenwa, Chidinma Okafor, Zikora Okafor, Ibiso Okemini, Onyeka Okereke, Daniel Okpe, Chris Olakpe, Whitney Orbih, Mayowa Oyebode, Jachimike Tony-Okeke, Ifeanyi Ubah, Richard Udeozor, Uzo Ugochukwu, Chigoziri Ukairo and Peter Utuk

Diamonds in the soles of her shoes.

This probably has little to do with the title technically, unless you are aware of the context and characters that inspired this post. What does it mean to have feelings for someone?? Recently, I find myself unable to tell a lot of things when it comes to emotional awareness, except the distinct fact that I don't have feelings for a person....or anyone in general at the moment.
This is more pronounced in the fact that on the flip side, I find other people's ability/experience of having feelings for another fascinating. The same way watching a science experiment occur is fascinating.
What does that feel like?? The emotional tingling I assume is there - represented in the form of physical sensations.

The lady with diamonds spent a good portion of time fighting off feelings for a guy who is being politely hurtful unintentionally. I spend the time trying to figure out how the feelings occur to begin with. What does that feel like?? How does that work?? I vaguely recall the butterflies from over a decade ago, but I wouldn't consider that 'love' like now.
They guy has more of the physical feelings, another aspect I'm not fully accustomed to either. Does that make mi asexual?? I don't think so, not by the dictionary definition that is.

Sometimes I sit and dream. Imagine and dream of what any of this would feel like. Love, lust, pain, hurt. I dream and let my imagination roam, then I put it all back in the safety box and continue my existence.

Thankful

Thankful for love, life and laughter.

Thankful for family, friends and fellowship.

Thankful for time, travel and togetherness.

Thankful for health, hope and happiness.

Thankful for belief, beauty and blessings.

Thankful for peace, privilege and positivity.

Thankful for survival, serviceability and salvation.

Thankful for grace, God and goodness.

Thankful for desires, determination and development.

Thankful for all.

And it breaks down....

When there is an inability to say the truth, because the truth comes with a fear of the found becoming lost again.
So we hold it in with cherry smiles, pretending all is well; with faces full of smiles and hearts bleeding in tears.

We hold it back, all inside, Pandora's box writhing to be opened so it's contents may be set free and let loose.
We exchange pleasantries like two semi-strangers meeting for the second time, parading on eggshells to avoid the supposed land mines a true discussion will present.

Moving from something more than friends to acquaintances to this, dropping at an alarming rate, free falling with no breaks at each stage to catch a breath and process the million dollar question: how did we get here??

Staring at the twists in the surface, no time was spared to listen to the slow and subtle crumbling of the foundations deep.
Select turns bringing a change to the surface, minor yet significant, allowing it to slip unnoticed like a still volcano before a lava outpouring.

Standing on opposite sides of a crossroad, with a crevasse in between. One feeling lost and abandoned, enhanced by the seemingly blasé attitude of the other towards their new found plight. One glancing at the other periodically as they forge ahead; the other seemingly staring everywhere but.

At an impasse the other is forced to turn; "how are you??" Joy and gladness. Taken aback, one responds. Put a smile in place.
Internally: "where are we and is this it??"

Harden not your heart....

Psalm 95 (8-11)
How long has this land rejected Him??
Founded on God, witnessing His protection, mercies.
How long has this land rejected Him??
Did the nation evoke this wrath to declare no peace or rest??
Hearts hardened, faces turned away.
Miracles of mercy rejected, ascribed to luck and man.
How long has the heart of the people been turned away for??
Do the sheep know His way?? Do they seek to know??
Or are they too busy trying to become wolves, rejecting their identity??
The creator of all things, yet hurt, heartbroken and rejected by the crème of His creation.
How long has the land rejected Him??

What I Miss.

The sound of my heart racing, echoing through the walls of my chest and up my throat; as if to make its way out and into his arms. 

The mixture of fear and anticipation, my breathing getting faster as I try to force the air trapped just outside my lungs to make its way in and prolong my living. 

The thoughts in my head, my eyes surveying, analyzing, as I try to play mind reading games without the four clovers that adorned such feelings in my childhood. 

The pleasured pain; the bittersweet mix when he hurts me, we fight, make up and fight some more, as the pain in my head from all the crying and the relief in my chest from all 'I'm sorries' radiates through my body, encasing every part, inch by inch. 

The smile on his face and the look in his eyes, when he watched me speak like the words from my lips radiate like rainbow petals in the sun, mesmerizing and captivating, coaxing a gentle protective smile from him that makes me feel warm and tingly all the way. 

What I miss; I think I miss him.