It's Okay, That's Love (K-Drama)

It's been a while since I've watched a drama series that blew mi away like this did. Secret Garden, I thought nothing could top, but Jo In Sung shii's performance in this drama completely floored me. From start till end, everything about his performance was beautiful. I wish I could write him a letter to tell him how awesome his acting was. Be it the switch in emotions, the portrayal of the disease, his ability to make you empathize, empathize and embrace the character was spectacular. 

Gong Hyo Jin shii was beautiful as always. I loved her in Master's son, but she dazzled here as well. I want to be like Ji Hye Soo when I grow up. She was a beautiful doctor. She found the line between business and personal, and walked it awesomely. Of course there were some ethical affairs in that he probably should have been sent to another hospital, but at the same time, I think no one but Hye Soo could have pulled off the treatment that Jang Jae Yeol (Jo In Sung's character) needed. And Hyo Jin shii was the perfect actress for the role. I didn't appreciate her wardrobe, but I got over it with the amazing acting. 

IOTL got mi believing in all sorts of things - miracles, soul mates, friends, love, relationships, etc. again. Off to go find other things my new found oppas and unnis have been in to watch. 
KDrama creates a fairytale life for mi, I'm afraid I'd keep running from reality at this rate.

How do you feel??

Such a wierd question. Following a loss, asking those left behind 'how do you feel??' 'How are you doing??' and the likes is such a strange human act. What is the appropriate response?? Fine?? So so?? No feelings?? I don't know?? I'm sad?? I'm angry?? 

How do you think or expect the person to feel in that situation?? Is that a retorical question?? 

It's confusing, upsetting and tiresome. Makes one want to avoid others. 

But like humans, we need something to say in all situations. Such a wierd yet normative act people indulge in. 

Adieu

Grandma passed away today.
She was a hundred years old, yet it came as a shock to mi.
She wasn't sick.
She wasn't suffering.
She just slipped away.
It hurt cause I never got to say goodbye.
It hurt cause I never got to see her one last time.
The littlest lady I ever knew.
She couldn't speak English so we never could communicate.
But she would still talk on and on, like I understand her.
I speak so many languages, but I regret not learning one she could understand.
They say she is in a better place.
Right now, I think its just one of those things people say.
Like congratulations when a child is born.
Or get well soon when someone is sick.
Believing it is a different story.
But I'm sure I'd wake up some days from now.
And remember that she did live a long and fulfilled life.
And even though I didn't get to say goodbye, I did get many memorable times with her.
RIP Odede....

Adieu

xo

1012: Another Year

Every year, I get to this day and time, and I write a post. A post which has evolved over the years. This year however, I am almost at a loss for words.
It's been so many years, but it still hurts.
It's been so many years, but many questions remain unanswered.
It's been so many years, but the memory is still strong.
It's been so many years, but your places remain in our hearts.
It's been so many years, but we still remember the good times.
It's been so many years, but you live on in our hearts, minds and lives.
It's been so many years, but we still miss you all.

Remembering our angels on this day, December 10th, 2014:

Kene Abba, Kelechi Adaka, Busayo Adebolu, Leke Adewoga, Boluwarim Adeyemi, Gabriella Aikhiobare, Wole Ajilore, Obongawan Akpan, Agu Akwiwu, Owanari Amachree, Chisom Awaji, Uzoma Awaji, Vivian Baa, Toke Badru, Chinenye Chigbo, Fanye Daniel-Kalio, Helena Edet, Chineonye Egbosimba, Uzo Egwele, Udeme Ekefre, Aniefon Ekereuwem, Amanze Ekwem, Ibra Ellah, Sandra Gbemudu, Nnanna Ibiam, Nnamdi Idabor, Chuka Ilabor, Nkem Ilabor, Buso Ilabor, Silvia Iroghama, Chibuzo Kamanu, Emma Loolo, Chiweoke Mba, Ijeamaka Mba, Augustine Monago, Linda Njoku, Obioma Nkaginieme, Ubani Nkaginieme, Chidera Nnaji, Ebuka Nnebedum, Emma Ntemuse, Hadiza Nwadei, Chioma Nwigwe, Stephanie Nwoko, Chidinma Nzelu, Adachi Nzenwa, Chidinma Okafor, Zikora Okafor, Ibiso Okemini, Onyeka Okereke, Daniel Okpe, Chris Olakpe, Whitney Orbih, Mayowa Oyebode, Jachimike Tony-Okeke, Ifeanyi Ubah, Richard Udeozor, Uzo Ugochukwu, Chigoziri Ukairo and Peter Utuk

Naija For Life: As seen on Facebook

Saw this on a facebook post and found it sad, true, hilarious and smh-worthy.
NAIJA FOR LIFE.
(1). Where a man happily meets a lady and when she goes back to her friends, their only question - "Is
the guy loaded?"
(2) Where leaders pretend to be patriotic when they are in office, out of office, they turn to ethnic tigers.
(3) Where a blind beggar will reject a fake Naira note.
(4) Where groundnuts are sold in bottles & water in sachets.
(5) Where parents claim they always came first in school.
(6) Where you can be A driver for years without a 'DRIVER'S LICENSE'
(7) Where Presidents and other government officials don't know the national anthem.
(8) Where the Police have road blocks, and makes more money daily than motorist and their owners.
(9) Where Gala and Lacasera are the best options when stuck in a traffic jam (hold up).
(10) Where you are jailed for stealing maggi and yam, while others are given a chieftaincy title for stealing billions and front row seats in churches.
(11) Where we fight for everything. To gain admission into a university, to get a job and to get on a bus!
(12) Where you are robbed of your phone and the robbers come back for your pin code and the phone's charger.
(13) Where politicians use big and unnecessary 'grammar' to scam people.
(14) Where the type of GENERATOR you own shows how RICH you are.
(15) Where you can easily blame your unsuccessfulness on family members in the village.
(16) Where rich men must have a pot belly, and a healthy looking, slim man is despised in the streets as a pauper.
(17) Where if you 'do anyhow' you 'see anyhow'.
(18) Where a generator is a social amenity.
(19) Where people dey collect change for beggar hand. (Where people collect change after giving a beggar money).
(20) Where People produce Toyota Camry jeans and Dr. Dre slippers
(21) Where the man who had no shoes becomes the president.
(22) Where a 60-yr-old grandpa is the National youth leader of a party (PDP).
(23) Where citizens are more afraid of the police than armed robbers.
(24) Where a civil servant saves $544,000 in her bank from her 'pure water' business in just 2 years.
We are always proud to be called Nigerians despite all these odds.

Are we really always?? Food for thought. 
xo

The Case of Wilson

I never discuss political affairs, or issues that involve public outrage, outcry, justice, etc. Not that I don’t notice them, but I get exhausted because no matter how angry I get or how much I speak, nothing will happen so I try to look at the good in life instead. 

I avoided the Eric Garner details today because trying to make sense of that would simply give mi a headache.

Then, I found myself watching the Darren Wilson interview on ABC, and I couldn’t not get mad. Before I even get into the interview, I want to point out that I never comment on issues like this because there is usually only one side to most stories in the media. I am a firm advocate, or at least I attempt to be, in hearing every side of a story before I make my judgment. 

In the light of the above statement, this write up is based, to the best of my ability, solely on the interview below. 

The interview portion focused on the events which occurred on August 9th starts off with Darren Wilson describing his day - presenting the protagonist as the ‘concerning/caring’ person, whose day took a drastic turn that ended with him ‘fighting for his life’. I say protagonist because what Darren Wilson goes on to describe relates like the plot of quite the unrealistic movie - something similar to Crank (yes, I did not like any of the 'Cranks'). 

I won’t retell his tale, the link to the youtube interview is below for those interested. I would, however, point out a few things, among the many, that astonished mi.

First what happened in the car. Wilson’s explanation, basically brought this scene to mind: Brown is hitting (or hits??) the left side of Wilson’s face with his right hand (first holding the cigar rolls), pauses, switches the rolls to his left hand, reaches back and gives them to his friend. He then returns to punching Wilson - but this time, he hits Wilson on the other side of his face. This takes place through the front window of Wilson’s car, and in the span of 10 seconds. I guess since I’ve never been hit through the window of my car, it should be understandable that I’m having a hard time picturing the scene above. More so because at no point during Brown’s apparently numbered pauses, did Wilson find a window to either start his car and drive, roll up his window, or etc. 

Next, we have the list of weapons/defense choices. During the 10 second scene above, Wilson states that he goes into training mode. In training, the officer learns a number of ways to defend him or herself, prior to reaching for a weapon. First was the mace - he rejected that option because, and I quote, it disables him. If he reached for the mace and managed to spray it on Brown, he might also be affected…. #NoComments. Next, we have the baton. This was ruled out because it was located in his back pocket, and he couldn’t safely reach for it. Understandable. The taser was ruled out because Wilson does not carry tasers, as they are uncomfortable.
Now thats odd.
For someone who, adamantly for 45mins, stated and tried to reenforce the belief that he was an officer who went by the strict guidelines of his training, why would discomfort be an acceptable reason to not carry a taser? Is that reason valid for other officers too?
Moving on naturally, with all other options 'justifiably' ruled out, the only logical step was to pull out his gun. 

Then there is the timeline. Science has shown that the human mind does not remember things as accurately or as precisely as we tend to believe. That being said, it is astonishing to mi that Wilson’s recollection of those 90 seconds is so detailed and clear, including his thought process. If this were a movie, this might make some more sense maybe. There is also the inconsistency, at least to mi, in his emotional state. Wilson states that he went into training mode, was calm and not agitated. At the same time, he was afraid for his life, and of the 'demon' he saw in Brown's eyes. Can you be afraid for your life and be calm and not agitated - kinda like he  was in the interview I would imagine - all at the same time?? I am now genuinely curious. 

Watching the video, here is what I, a layperson, saw. I saw a man who had practiced a story, very accurately and down the the finite detail. A man who had convinced himself that what he did that day was his job. A man with a story that was just perfect; so perfect for a script, absurd for reality. Every second was accounted for. So well detailed and framed to back the idea that he had no choice in the matter. Every reaction that occurred in those 90 seconds was backed by an action beyond his control. Nothing he did that day could have occurred differently because of the choices Brown made. Nothing that occurred that day was his fault. 
Wilson never once made eye contact with Stephanopoulos when he was answering a question. And the more times Stephanopolos repeated his questions at several points during the interview, the angrier I saw Wilson get - in his controlled and calm manner of course. 

I don’t know what happened that day. There are no videos and I wasn’t there. Brown could have tried to pick a fight with an officer. Maybe Brown did hit Wilson, maybe he committed a crime, maybe Wilson did simply shoot an unarmed man for no concrete reason like the eyewitnesses stated. 
A lot of maybes. 
What I do know is I would first need a play by play video reenactment of the 90 seconds to even begin to accept it as a plausible scenario, before we discuss if it did occur in reality. 
So a grand jury accepting this, to me, is quite remarkable. 

I have a good bullshit radar, and its tingling.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=baSE7SObyw8

Cross My Heart and Pinky Swears

Two things I recently discovered/got myself into.

The first is making promises for things I normally don't intend to do.
Promises, to mi, are sacred. I don't take them lightly, cause they involve some level of trust that I feel honoured to have and bestow upon others. I expect and trust others to keep their promises to mi, and so I endeavour to do the same. So I try not to make promises I won't or don't believe I can keep. Usually, this involves promises that have to do with myself or changing something about mi or dropping a habit, things of that nature. Mostly because this involves coming to terms with the fact that I have to let go of something I don't necessarily want to in the given moment, or haven't thought about letting go in the given moment. And I have to do this because I included the binding phrase 'I promise' to the equation. This is completely a game changer. I have this as a cardinal rule - never making promises I can't keep, i.e., involving a change in myself. I, however, went ahead and broke said cardinal rule.

The second is keeping secrets.
Don't get mi wrong, I keep secrets very well. Just my definition of a secret has, drastically, changed. I understood a secret as a. something other people did not know and b. other people being those who know you. So if I know A and B are secretly dating among my friends from Germany for instance, and I am back in Nigeria talking to some friends about life in Germany, saying 'oh A and B are dating' as I show them pictures of my friends from Germany is fine (I thought) because they don't know each other and probably never will. Apparently, that's not the case. Not only is A and B's secret dating a secret, but the fact that I know that is also a secret as long as A and B want it to be. Essentially, a secret is not based on what I want it to be but on what the source deems it to be. So if A and B say knowing them is a secret, I have to respect that fact (as well as figure out if I am okay with that arrangement).
Funny enough, keeping secrets based on the other party's requirements, though different, isn't as tasking as I thought it would be. It also makes mi feel.... like more of a friend?? I mean if you're the only one that knows something about someone, it makes you two's relationship unique??

In case you were wondering, yes, I am on break and yes, I now have an amazing amount of free time on my hands. Lots of random ramblings to come. And I would also be publishing one of the books (or two) this break....should be fun.

xo