...It is Well....

Some people live, and some people die.

The choice of who falls in what camp seems to be as random as a game of Russian roulette. Age, ethnicity, gender, income level....nothing seems to be a factor in who gets chosen, and who gets left behind. One family prays for a child for a decade, gets blessed with one, only to loose said child barely two decades later. Another family has children immediately, get to live and see the great-grand-children, offspring of the original prayer.
What is the criteria for falling into camp A versus camp B?? We, as Christians, are told to not fear death. Have faith. Don't let the fear of the unknown control you.
I must admit, in this new world, where young and old are fair game, it gets harder and harder.
Is it a new world, or am I just becoming more aware as I grow older??

My friend's brother, a school mate, passed away suddenly. I understand this logically, but I can't feel. My heart is frozen; paralysed with fear. I'm too scared to imagine the hurt, the pain, the sorrow. I'm too scared to fathom the idea that someone so young will be gone so soon. I'm too scared to accept it, cause in my head, I see the grim ripper with a lottery box, pulling out numbers at random.
I don't want to be scared, but I don't know how not to be. The days where I lived in the illusion that you cannot die till you have seen your grand-children are long gone. What happened to that little girl with all the faith??

I want to call or text, but I have no words. All I keep on hearing, all I keep on seeing are the lyrics to the song, 'It is well.' It is well, it is well, it is well, it is well.... I have no words, and so I will continue to say this prayer for her and her family. I'll say those words because I know above all else, only God knows why and He alone can heal. So, it is well.


Lord, may our children burry us; but only after we have seen, held and communed with our children's children. Lord, may we burry our fathers and mothers; but only after they have seen, held, blessed and created long lasting memories with our children. Lord, may we not mourn our children. Lord, may our children only rejoice in our parting to join you in our old age.

Adieu

Grandma passed away today.
She was a hundred years old, yet it came as a shock to mi.
She wasn't sick.
She wasn't suffering.
She just slipped away.
It hurt cause I never got to say goodbye.
It hurt cause I never got to see her one last time.
The littlest lady I ever knew.
She couldn't speak English so we never could communicate.
But she would still talk on and on, like I understand her.
I speak so many languages, but I regret not learning one she could understand.
They say she is in a better place.
Right now, I think its just one of those things people say.
Like congratulations when a child is born.
Or get well soon when someone is sick.
Believing it is a different story.
But I'm sure I'd wake up some days from now.
And remember that she did live a long and fulfilled life.
And even though I didn't get to say goodbye, I did get many memorable times with her.
RIP Odede....

Adieu

xo

1012: Another Year

Every year, I get to this day and time, and I write a post. A post which has evolved over the years. This year however, I am almost at a loss for words.
It's been so many years, but it still hurts.
It's been so many years, but many questions remain unanswered.
It's been so many years, but the memory is still strong.
It's been so many years, but your places remain in our hearts.
It's been so many years, but we still remember the good times.
It's been so many years, but you live on in our hearts, minds and lives.
It's been so many years, but we still miss you all.

Remembering our angels on this day, December 10th, 2014:

Kene Abba, Kelechi Adaka, Busayo Adebolu, Leke Adewoga, Boluwarim Adeyemi, Gabriella Aikhiobare, Wole Ajilore, Obongawan Akpan, Agu Akwiwu, Owanari Amachree, Chisom Awaji, Uzoma Awaji, Vivian Baa, Toke Badru, Chinenye Chigbo, Fanye Daniel-Kalio, Helena Edet, Chineonye Egbosimba, Uzo Egwele, Udeme Ekefre, Aniefon Ekereuwem, Amanze Ekwem, Ibra Ellah, Sandra Gbemudu, Nnanna Ibiam, Nnamdi Idabor, Chuka Ilabor, Nkem Ilabor, Buso Ilabor, Silvia Iroghama, Chibuzo Kamanu, Emma Loolo, Chiweoke Mba, Ijeamaka Mba, Augustine Monago, Linda Njoku, Obioma Nkaginieme, Ubani Nkaginieme, Chidera Nnaji, Ebuka Nnebedum, Emma Ntemuse, Hadiza Nwadei, Chioma Nwigwe, Stephanie Nwoko, Chidinma Nzelu, Adachi Nzenwa, Chidinma Okafor, Zikora Okafor, Ibiso Okemini, Onyeka Okereke, Daniel Okpe, Chris Olakpe, Whitney Orbih, Mayowa Oyebode, Jachimike Tony-Okeke, Ifeanyi Ubah, Richard Udeozor, Uzo Ugochukwu, Chigoziri Ukairo and Peter Utuk

Angels on our Journey

There are angels that come down and amongst us.
They live, they love and then they leave.

But when they are gone, their memories live on.
Passed from mouth to mouth, as the tale of 'a brother who', 'a son who'; 'a friend who'.

An angel has left us.
But though the tears are shed now,
His words, his warmth, his love and his heart,
Would one day bring only smiles and laughter.

He fought a brave fight, and now his work here is done.

So we bid you adieu.
Rest well dear son, brother and friend;
Our gentle passing angel.

In memory of Paul Uche (1991-2014), because his gentle smile remains clear in my memory. Whenever he crossed my mind, I asked God to take away his pain, and in His own way, He did.  

I pray He also comforts those left on this side, and fill the void now present. 

And the Father will Dance....

For some reason, I recalled the song we sang in high school. Don't remember the rest of the lyrics, but I recall the tune. Not sure why I thought about it either. Been feeling rather out of sorts recently. One thing I'm grateful for is my ability to mask it all with a smile and laughter. Gosh I am an expert at faking, should get a degree.

Thats off topic though....not that there really is a topic.

So the song had to do with God dancing I think, or a father.... (well, can't be any other choice). I just read a blog post about SIDS, a friend of a friend lost her baby girl and this song popped into my head. So I went and googled the lyrics. As I thought, it is in reference to God - should have guessed since it was a chapel song - and it talks about being renewed by God's love. Talks about.... I'll just post the lyrics here:

Refrain:

And the Father will dance as on a day of joy He will exult over you and renew you by His love Verse 1: Shout for joy, all you, His people Sing aloud and exult with all your heart For Yahweh, your God is in your midst. (Refrain) Verse 2: You have no more evil to fear (2x) Do not let your hands fall limp For Yahweh, your God is in your midst. (Refrain) Verse 3: And when the time comes I will rescue the lame And when the time comes I will gather the strays And when the time comes I will be your guide I will gather you in and give you renown Among all peoples (Refrain) Final: He will renew you by His love
It probably has nothing to do with grieve or comfort, but it is what I thought about so thats how it is. I pray the souls of those little infants rest in peace, and God comforts and draws the families unto Himself. The worst tragedy a parent can go through is to bury his or her own child. The worst pain a child can go through, is to bury his or her parent before their time. I pray God's promise is fulfilled in all our lives. 
xo Mi

The Last of the '-ember' Months

    There are some people you know and think of, and you don't put them and death in the same scene. I mean you know, at the back of your mind somewhere, that everyone would die someday. But these people just don't come to mind when you see an RIP or hear of a person's passing. 
I always dread December.
Maybe its because of December 10th, or the fact that in the last 3/4 years, I have lost someone close between around this time, or the superstition behind the '-ember' months, but December has always been my least favorite month. Sad too, being that it is Christmas' month and all. 

Just heard a friend of my dad passed away. He was one of those people I mentioned above. The ones you just don't associate with death. Even more so with his death. He simply slumped. 

Such an odd thing death is. One minute you are talking to someone, and the next minute, they are not there anymore. 

This hurt more because I had the unfortunate and unexpected job of breaking the news to my mum. 'That's impossible', she said, 'We were together only last week.' 
His wife said he woke up in the morning and slumped. 

Its so scary this month. Almost feels like the rounding up of a chess game. Where the pieces move randomly and unexpectedly. 
The lonesomeness of death is most scary. Scarier still if you already feel alone. 

Praying that this year shall not close with anymore loved ones, and we shall only celebrate the Joy that is the Lord's birth in this season.

Praying for comfort to the families that have lost loved ones this season.

Praying for us all.