People are..Human??

I recently became aware that I see people, inherently, as either good or bad. No grey area, nothing in between.
I also recently became aware of the fact that people are human who make mistakes. This makes them neither good, nor bad, but just human.
I hear this statement, I really do, but somehow, it does not register in my schema or cognitive process. And I don't know how to fix this.
The problem isn't necessarily how I treat people, though that does come into effect. The problem is I hold myself to this same standard. Thus, I am either a good person or a bad person, nothing in the middle. This is a very difficult place to be in because being a good person requires perfection, and I don't think there is a person out there who can be perfect. So since I can't be perfect, I am constantly not a good person in my book, and striving to become one.
It's exhausting, and I am tired.
But I still can't shake all of this. I don't know how to not think this way. I don't know how to not be a 'bad' person striving to be 'good', and just be human period.
I don't know and to be honest, I really truly wish someone will tell mi how. I wish someone will be able to tell mi that it's okay to just be mi - human. That it's okay to just be mi, because there isn't such a thing as a good person or a bad person. There are just people, and people make mistakes which is okay because they are just people. People do bad things and people do good things, which is okay because they are again just people. I wish someone will tell mi these things.
And better still, I wish I can understand and accept these things.
Most of all, I wish I could just not be so tired.

Not the way I envisioned day 5 of my thankful/no-complaints life to be going. This is going to be a really long journey.

xo

Mi :(

Confused

I don't know what's wrong. 

More like I can't explain it. One minute I was fine. I really was, or at least trying to be. I think the rum didn't help. It took away my active blocker and now all these feelings are coming crashing in uninvited. 

Saying I miss him, my friend, is insane cause he is literarily here. He hasn't gone anywhere, yet he feels so far away. 

I realized a storm was possible when I felt jealous that he was close to someone else. But I started CTT on myself, and it was working. It was going fine. Then it wasn't just one someone else, but another person came in the mix. And though I keep telling myself the distance I am feeling is self imposed and created, I can't help it. 

I don't know what to do. I feel the friendship fading, though in actual fact it isn't. Yes I feel it going, and from past experience, this isn't something I can stop. 

My T said jealously isn't a bad thing unless you don't do anything about it. I am on the 100 days, but I don't know how to be thankful or assertive or see the positive in this situation. I don't even understand the situation. I don't understand how I got here. I mean I was fine. I was really doing so well.

 

Sitting with your feeling is constantly preached. I am right now and it sucks. I am right now and all I want to do is run away from myself. I just want to run and keep going until I don't feel anymore. So tempted to sleep but I have work to do. But I wish, I just wish someone could understand this and explain it to mi so I can know I'm not insane. I don't like this. 

I really don't.