These Words

The urge to come on here is getting greater and greater. That's not a good sign right?? 

Ace is at it again and I don't care. I think it's scary that I don't care. Cause I know the outcome, and it's nothing positive for mi. But I can't bring myself to be bothered. I simply walk pass all the dreams, imaginative stories and innuendos thrown my way. I see what Ace is trying, but I refuse to acknowledge this episode. 

Because that's what it is. An episode. I fall, it comes out, gets rejected, I wallow in self pity and condemnation while Ace gets a fix on my depressive self. That sounds like something that requires effort. 

I have no energy for all that. I have a limited amount of strength at the moment, and picking my battles is the only way to stay sane. The problem now is, why did I automatically rule this out as a battle worth fighting?? I steady assumed an outcome, why?? I already accept I'd cry at the end of this, and I already plan on it. I'm not even making an effort to change that outcome. Weird?? 

I think that's frustrating Ace. Slowing down the process. It's no longer fun teasing someone when you get no reaction. 

I'm just sad I've gotten to the point of having no reaction. 

xo