Mirror Mirror

If you could only look inside of mi,
What you see and what you would see will be a flip side of each other.
For my outside is a cover,
Not perfect but a lot more so than the real mi.

Here is a piece of mi,
Hardly seems comprehensible that I am still holding on together.
From this image you get parts to make a part,
Tears and pain glue all together.

Mirror, mirror on the wall,
What you see isn't always what it is.

Daily Words

You can't hate a guy for not liking you.
You can't hate a guy for not accepting you.
You can't hate a guy for wanting to stay single.
You can't hate a guy for wanting your friend over you.
It's hard, it's painful but it's the truth.
You just have to accept it.
Does it bother you?? Of course. It would bother anyone. But you just have to accept it.
Does it hurt every time?? Of course. It would always hurt. But you just have to deal with it.
Can I cut it out cause its slowly killing mi?? Not a chance. Swimming or drowning through it is your only option.
Can you at least cry it out?? I guess not. Cause there's no one to cry out to.
Why?? You know the idiot that cut her safety net loose before she got to land?? Yea, that's mi.
Maybe it would be better in the morning.

Junkie for Pain

It's the waiting that is killing mi
It's the waiting that I hate.
It's the waiting that makes mi want to throw myself off a bridge and end it all.
It's the waiting that depresses mi
It's the waiting that hurts.
It's the waiting that makes the reality all too real and knife worthy.
It's the waiting that gnaws at mi
It's the waiting I dispise.
It's the waiting that gets restarted as soon as that re-blinking light begins.
It's the waiting that's anxious for mi
It's the waiting that kills.
It's the waiting that makes my heart race without a reason.

Torture

Tormenting mi seems to be the order of the day, week, month and freaking year. The funny part is I can't complain because it would be quite silly sounding....maybe I should go see a therapist but then what would I say?? 'Hi, meet the unlovable. Now fix mi?' Ok sure, I shouldn't say that but it is really hard....

It's not even sad as much as it is so bloody annoying....you know when someone is enjoying every minute of the torture he or she is putting you through. Where you can see the amusement your reaction brings, and as much as you hate to fuel that look, your emotions and your heart refuse to cooperate with you. 

But really though, why do I keep jumping back into the same pattern and the same routine?? I sink into depression, drag myself out, spend most of my life fighting it, loose and back again....
And through all of it, my heart hurts.
....
....

I want out. 

Just Enough

I love you enough it hurts my heart,

So much it maims mi flat

I love you enough it makes mi a tool,

So much the world sees mi a fool

,I love you enough its hard to breathe

.So much there is not enough air on earth

,I love you enough its hard to breathe

.So much I need air

,I love you enough it makes mi a tool

.So much I need a life

,I love you enough it hurts my heart

.So much the ache is my beat

.I love you enough....just enough for it to hurt

I Often Miss Him

Some days I miss him.
I miss his smile, 
I miss his laughter.
I miss the way his eyes light up when he finds something funny.
Its funny though; I miss him but I never had him.

Some days I miss him.
I miss his voice,
I miss his words.
I miss how he gets amused when he irritates mi.
Its funny though, I miss him but I never had him.

Some days I miss him.
I miss his eyes,
I miss his face.
I miss the way his eyes twinkle for no reason at times.
Its funny though, I miss him but I never had him.

Some days I miss him.
I miss the laughter,
I miss the arguments.
I miss the bikker and random comments that go for days on end.
Its funny though; I never had him, though some days, I wish I had.