3 Months Down....

....4 years and some change to go.

Congratulations to mi, I just completed my first quarter of PhD graduate school. (Cheerrrrrsssss!!!!)
Here is the much procrastinated count down of 10 things I learned thus far. (Drum rolls!!!!)

10. Being stuck in a location filled with other psychologists (to-be) is emotionally and mentally exhausting. Hence, the appreciation of the quarter system.

9. On that note, completing the first quarter does not, as anticipated, bring with it a sense of relief. Simply more exhaustion.

8. Consistency and communication, among people in office is a thing of the 80s. Inconsistency is the norm now. So generalizability is not only unacceptable with clients, it is also unacceptable with school rules, regulations and instructions. Get with the program.

7. There is a high correlation between Starbucks' coffee sales and the level of tolerance psychologists (who are trained/training to deal with people's feelings) have for each other. If Starbucks is the go-to drug for the 'experts', why are millions still paying for experts??

6. There is, apparently, such a thing as a 'stupid question'.  It is a psychologist's/(to be) job to point that to you, in an ever so passive-aggressive (or what I like to call British polite) way.

5. It is very okay to stereotypically diagnose someone based on your 'cultural consideration'. Also okay to throw that out the window, if I deem an existence of 'clinical impairment'.

4. Saying 'xx is a thing' is, apparently, a thing.

3. The DSM was probably written by a bunch of individuals with a DSM diagnosis, some of whom are certifiable.... (shh, no telling).

2. Overthinking + Psychology classes = Nervous breakdown. Don't do it.

1. In psychology world, there is no such thing as a 'yes' or a 'no'. It ALWAYS depends.

And as a bonus: Kids in this state were raised differently from the rest of the world; AND; they think that it's normal.... 

Thank You Note

At Church today, we were told to write a thank you letter to the new friends in our lives (not to be given to them so this is fine), because they are not accidental but designed by God. I had to laugh when the sermon began cause for a while I had been wondering if I was just having a solo tantrum without any audience. Turned out my Father was listening and he did have a response.
So in line with the challenge from church, here is the note:
Hi,
I would like to thank you for taking the time to try to get to know mi and be friends with mi. I know I have a lot of quirks, but I am grateful you are willing to stick around to navigate through them. I have learned that I didn't choose you as my friends, but God placed you in my life for a reason. I don't know what that reason is now, but I trust that His reasons are always for my benefit.
I am sorry if I have been taking you for granted (in anyway), and I hope to be a the friend to you that God wants mi to be.

Love,
Mi

xo

Brothers are the Best

In the end, I talked to my brother. Not only was his reaction to my entire ordeal perfect - he laughed and congratulated mi on my imaginative skills, though it was put to an unexpected use - but also said all I needed to hear.
Talked to my god-brother yesterday and he too said about the same things - just stricter and in a more therapeutic sounding way lol.
I don't know how a life without brothers works, but I am glad I don't have to find out.

I also got the confidence to tell her about what happened. Funny, though I know there is a chance it'd probably end badly....or horribly, I'm not as terrified as I was before. Because in the worst case scenario imaginable, I'd still be fine.
Going to bed without some apprehensive feeling for the first time in days.

If I worried you, I am sorry and grateful too. It's been a like a roller-coaster the past couple of days, but I think its safe to assume the major loops are behind us now....

xo

Sometimes

It's been a couple of weeks in Cali, well maybe 2 weeks. While I've found readjusting into the school system (the other end of it) a slightly troubling but fun experience, its the loss of complete independence that I'm having a hard time adjusting to. Coming from living alone, paying my way and getting to places on my own, to having to rely on someone for everything is unsettling. I can't live alone right now cause it's not financially feasible. I can't have a job right now cause there aren't any available to fit my time schedule. I can't go around on my own yet because driving is still a bit dicy for mi.
It's frustrating knowing that I have to ask, and essentially bother, someone else in order to get the necessary things done. I understand that they don't necessarily think that way, but I can't rationally help thinking the way I do. Makes mi wonder if it's because I feel that way (deep down) when people ask mi for help constantly, but then I know this isn't the case. I know, for a fact, that I don't think that way. But why I can't believe others are the same is beyond mi.
Academically, I'm fine. I mean I'm not an idiot. I understand that I need help there when I need it. But it's in other ways.
Like today. I bought a printer. My housemate has two printers in her room. She told mi I could use it anytime I wanted, and even offered mi the option of downloading the CD to my laptop so I can use it whenever. But I bought a printer.
It's not that I didn't trust her offer. It's just....well for one I have the 3 strikes thing. I asked her to help mi print somethings and she forgot. I know it wasn't intentional, but then I feel bad re-asking. So I don't get the things printed, and I loose out. I also don't know what the 'printing page limit' is. Or if I contribute to buying the ink....see how far my train of thought has gone?? I'm not generally that way with people I've known for 6 years and up (at least I like to think so), but it's getting to that time that is work. But then there are some people I feel I won't ever get that way with....
I think the most terrifying thing to mi or rather the hardest thing for mi is not having a job, and having to feel guilty for spending money all over again. Japan cured mi of that. I earned the money and I spent it. I also learned how to budget and things of that nature. Here, it's like a yo-yo diet. I spend money, feel guilty, starve myself of the money, then crash and spend crazy. It's a never ending cycle of insanity.
I want to get the library job. I think I can be really good if I do....or a job of similar nature....
My school does require 16hrs of therapy before the 3rd year. Maybe I can ask my therapist. But then again, maybe I'm just trying to create things to talk about with them.
Anyway I've got assignments to do and papers to write....wrong day for feeling sad....

New State, New Life, Changes

So I finally moved....drum rolls.....lol
While it's a new city, I am not really feeling the 'new town' vibe. Maybe cause I've moved around so much its not so new to mi.... But I love the place already.
Went to Japan town today, which made mi home sick/nostalgic....odd child that I am of course lol.
Have a really sweet room mate. She is quite unconventional, but not in a way that pisses mi off which is good.
Orientation starts tomorrow, and I am not even sure I am ready for the amount of work the school year seems to entail. I guess taking it one day at a time would be a fantastic way to start.
On a sadder note, I still have absolutely no idea on how to curb my spending. I mean I know I have no money, at the back of my head, but then I still find myself buying stuff/swiping my card, which frustrates mi afterwards. I need a job to balance it out lol....or an accountant lol.

Kinda tired so would have to do a proper write up some other time. Just felt like checking in and giving the highlights.

Cheers
xo