Reservoir Chronicles: Him, Her

Her,
Breathing stops, heart races.
He is here.
Panic attacks, mask slips on.
He spoke.
If you are not mine, why won't the butterflies seize??


Her,
Words flow, amnesia occurs.
He is communicating.
Sarcastic. Unapproachable.
He is listening.
If you are not mine, why won't the butterflies seize??


Him.
Blank, void, unknown.
She knows him not.
Secretive, dubious. 
She never knows whats on his mind.
Trust-less, Ever doubtful.
She stands with a glass wall between them.
If your are not mine, why won't the butterflies seize??


Them.
Caring, smiling, feeling, aching.
I guess their feelings are one.
Nonchalant, hurtful, unresponsive, doubtful
I guess their feelings are split.
If you are not mine, why won't the butterflies seize??


Them.
Body united, no regrets.
Hearts separated, no obvious cause.
Minds bared, no answers.
Souls disturbed, no rest.
If you are not mine, why won't the butterflies seize??

Reservoir Chronicles: The Real Mi

"Let me tell you about Mi" she said....

....I chase after something that I myself do not know....

....I have the ability to kill, and I know it....

....Everything about life is a game to me, you loose some, you win some....

....I like good boys because its a puzzle finding whats bad about them....

....I hate self sacrifice....

....I smile as a reaction to all things, no emotional change....

"Let me tell you about Mi" she said....

....There is someplace I want to be, though I don't know where....

....I hate it when people make a completely false image about me to me....

....I love boys because they are more complicated and fun to pick apart....

....I would go with you to any length, simply to see how far you would go....

....I don't like girls partly because I am one....

...I want someone to understand me, yet I don't want to tell anyone about me....

....I love fast things....

....I love 'happily-ever-afters' in others...

....I want someone to tell us apart, yet I don't want to give any hints....

....And as I stared and listened to her, I wanted to say....

There is a fire in your eyes,

and it flashes through your smile.

There is a radiance that i know only comes with my glow.

There is a reason that I'm here,

And its something that I fear,

We refuse to release the other,

And there in lies the problem.

The Illusion before you,

Is a mere shadow of what lies beneath.

The face you see,

Is a mere representation of what side it holds.

The voice you hear,

Is a mere cover for the true tales it tells.

The smile you behold,

is never loyal to one emotion.

Would you like to see the real Mi??

As would I.

Reservoir Chronicles: I wish I could....

Take back all my care and worries,
take back all my frustrations,
take back all my sleepless nights,
take back all anxiety for you....
take it all back because you've made Mi feel so stupid.


Take back all the solutions I tried to think of,
take back all the rescues I did come up with,
take back all the fights I had because of you,
take back all the harshness I endured,
take it all back, because you've made Mi feel so stupid.


Take back ignoring what seems now as the voice of reasoning,
take back stressing since it seems this was all fake to you,
take back the day I said 'ok, I'll listen' because it seems cursed,
take back letting some emotions show rather than leaving the cage sealed,
take it all back, because you've made Mi feel so stupid.


Take back the times I smiled and said I cared,
take back the decades it seemed I spent praying for you,
take back the centuries it seemed I spent listening to you,
take back the millenniums it seemed I spent being angry for you,
take it all back, because you've made Mi feel stupid.


Tell myself this is the last time and know it is true,
tell myself I can walk away from it all and know I can,
tell myself that I really don't know why I feel so and believe it,
tell myself that this is for your good and be happy with that,
tell myself to make it better, because you've made Mi feel stupid.


A lass in the end, she still stands alone.... her greatest fear now a reality.... which road do we turn to now, I hear her unasked questions.... and in the silence, it remains so.... unasked, unanswered.... as I watch the chains fall back in place, and the locks close in once more....

Resevoir Chronicles: How did you feel?

Did it hurt when I said I too was letting go?
Did your heart come to a slamming stop,
And then restart as it broke into a million pieces?
Did it feel a little harder to breathe or was it all normal?
Come on, why the silence? We are playing your game here.
Tell mi how if felt, because I am sure I always feel ten times worse.


Did you feel your dreams turn into nightmares?
Did you feel the life you knew suddenly become foreign?
Did you feel a sudden dislike for Mi that you couldn't stop?
Did you feel helpless as you realized you couldn't let go? Or could you let go?
Come on, why the silence? We are playing your game here.
Tell mi how if felt, because I am sure I always feel ten times worse.

Reservoir Chronicles: Now, You Should Lie To Mi

Now why does my heart hurt when I see you?
Now why does my heart skip when I see you?
Now wait, my heart is dead, so what is that feeling?
Now wait, my heart is sealed, so what is that moving?


You had no right to come unlock my feelings and run away.
You had no right to merge my dreams with reality and then break away.
You had no right to give mi hope for normalcy and then rip it away.
You had no right to make mi smile for real and take the source away.


Should hate you for your fake smiles, but you would say we are the same.
Should hate you for your hidden emotions, but you would say we are the same.
Should hate you for your self-sacrifices, but you would say we are the same.
Should hate you for your unsystematic choices, but you would say we are the same.


Lie and tell Mi once more you do understand, and I would scream.
Lie and tell Mi you would try to change, and I would scream.
Lie and tell Mi you would become better, and I would scream.
Lie and tell Mi no more secrets, and I would scream.


To have and to lose, is a pain I am too familiar with.
To have and to lose, is a pain I have had to live with.
To have and to lose, is a pain I thought I was done with.
To have and to lose, is a pain you have reacquainted Mi with.


Mi, I think I am done talking and begging.
Mi, I think I am done crying and trying.
Mi, I think I am done wishing and hoping.
Mi, I think I have joined the others in letting you do as you wish.

Resevoir Chronicles: "Thats who I am"

I close my eyes and I see your tears,
I close my eyes and I see your smile,
I close my eyes and I see you saying goodbye,
I close my eyes, and all I see is you.

I am aware of how you feel,
I am aware of how you think,
I am aware of how you are,
I am aware I dont comprehend the logic behind it all.

You always say whats on your mind,
You always say how you feel,
You always do as you please,
You always....its always about you.

You say you are listening,
You say you do understand,
You say you know what I am talking about,
You say a lot of things you don't mean.

Deciding when to come, you came.
Deciding when to leave, you left.
Deciding we be intimate, it did not matter.
Deciding all this, you did alone, we have/had no say.

Deciding the story, you make the play.
Deciding the characters, you act the part.
Deciding the ending, you take the bow.
Deciding the audience....wait, where do we come in??

Can I say....

'That's enough' is your standard response,
Who would have guessed it was never words alone?
I have been running in circles,
Am calling it quits now. Taking a rest.

'Thats my best friend' you say a lot.
Who can believe when it's always a lie.
I am tired of begging, talking, this circular journey.
Am finaly giving you your wish, I'll tell you good bye....

I wish I could say....

"That's who I am"

Reservoir Chronicles: Emotic Alien (Sequel )

Juxtaposed fountain of emotions,
Emotions that dispute themselves.
Selfish, spoiled, juvenile and problematical.
Lovable, adorable, beautiful and child like.

Insatiable sun of a gun,
Perfection can only happen your way,
All other lanes are closed, only what you say goes:
In your little world and the real one too.

Lost and lonely kitten,
Fragile yet strong, strong yet fragile.
Sometimes with your heart at the tip of our fingers,
Scared to breathe for fear we drop it and kill you.

Now locked up away in chains forever,
Your heart does seem. Cold to behold through your eyes.
You choose to run and save yourself; from what, I don't know.
Forgetting that once out, a heart freed can never be relocked the same.

Reservoir Chronicles: Emotic Alien

Terror,
Unexplainable terror chokes mi,
As the expression on your face changes.
Pain,
Unexplainable pain pierces mi,
As I see the look now in your eyes.
Fear,
Unexplainable fear captivates mi,
As you turn and I think you are to leave.
You pause and ask for a reason to stay,
And tears are the only response I can bring up.

I can't find the words to explain to you how I feel.
Yet the terror for the pain that accompanies your reaction
to my lack of explanation,
Is worse than the terror that chokes mi with your expressions.
How do I tell you its not you I fear, but the idea that is you?
How do I tell you that first impressions for mi begin with fear,
and people always begin on pillars?
how do I tell you that my own self esteem,
or lack of it thereof,
Leads mi to think everyone an angel,
Till I find that which makes them human again?
A lass, how do I tell you that for you, I have found many a human factors,
But still, none strong enough to break this?

My hands are shaking,
I can already feel you leaving.
My voice is shaking,
I can already feel you gone.
How do i stop you?
It seems like every step I take is a mile from you,
But then again, I notice there was already a milestone crater
before us,
And that, I had nothing to do with.

So I watch us fall into an awkward silence,
And I count the seconds with my clock
As it ticks away.
Knowing in a few minutes you would say 'I am leaving',
And I would sigh because there is no way to stop you.
Knowing you would walk out the door, and in a little while,
follow with a message.
Knowing I would now wish this dream, now nightmare, were but only
a dream.
And the clock would continue to tick away....

Resvoir Chronicles: My Protective Charm

He broke pieces of his heart and left them as we walked.
I walked behind him, sometimes beside him, and watched
them shatter as they fall.
We got to a great lake and there we stopped,
And I walked back to pick them all while he slept.

They were pretty colors of shades of red,
Glistered in the moon light for all to see.
I would have dropped them but for one thing,
Those pretty little pieces did still beat.

So sorrowful and painful was their tone,
that my heart ached and bleed for him.
So in this box I have gathered and mended,
till they now form one sorrowful beat.

I add each piece as it falls,
remending the parts he has lost.
And until that day when his heart is none,
And he comes to mi with a plea to go on.

Till that day when his heart is none,
and I must return that I have to let him live on.
Within my chains of protective charm,
shall the pieces remain locked, protected, sealed and
Unharmed.

Reservoir Chronicles: Parallel Universe

Walking the same path,
Two lines they are.
Seeing the same things,
But at different times and different views.

Wanting the same things,
These lines I see,
Yet feeling so alone,
For the other just went by a second ahead.

You don't see the footprints in the sand, do you?
I ask one line.
Take a break from your run and pause, would you not?
I ask the second.
Yet to the finish they both run,
Only to get there alone and begin the journey back,
Alone once more.

Two lines they are,
Parallel yet of the same goal.
Both wishing to meet the other,
Both believing the other is fine alone.
Both being sadly wrong in their conclusions.

Two lines they are,
And like mi, lies are their favorite companions,
For they believe the other is happy,
And in the other's happiness, they would find theirs.
But in this triangle we know,
That is but an aged old maid's tale....

Would you slow down and watch the sun set with mi?
I ask one.
Would you slow down and watch the sun set with mi?
I ask the other.
And then I silently pray,
That they both heard 'sunset',
And they both make it to her slow descent,
So at some point in the sun's return,
The two universes would become one again.

Reservoir Chronicles: The Punisher

She binds herself in ropes of steel,

in mental torture that puts mi in semi-agony.

What heinous crime has she committed,

that she would choose her self-torture to be so?

We hold our breaths as the egg-shells we walk on crack,

for today might have her awoken blank.

Or sad, or depressed, or filled with self loathe.

For a crime, we cannot identify, committed.

She reinforced her conscience with the fires of hell,

and now as a back fire she burns with guilt.

On the road of pleasure, guilty pleasure,

for abstaining, guilty desire, and for doing, guilty deeds.

At what point does the balm awaken?

Little one listen,

for you seem not to know the meaning of a crime.

Though your core-conscience is like a babe's,

that innocence might be the death of you.

You strangle yourself with un-understandable guilt,

a guilt that to us is but an illusion.

Let the real punisher do his job and be, for he has no page on you,

let the punisher be and stop writing your own self-created sins at will.

Reservoir Chronicles: The Illusionist

Her eyes sparkle every time,

but the ring of self-defense still remains.

She gives the illusion of intimacy,

but a'lass, that is but a one way street.

She hides behind Jericho's walls,

reinforced with steel.

So the hologram she projects of her life,

that which you see, is not she.

Life did not deal her a fine hand,

but all thought she took it with a smile.

Yet behind the illusion of joy she presents,

the lost and lonely broken child sleeps.

Shielded behind Jericho's walls,

guarded by herself./

Rescue might come around,

but a'lass its too dark and she too scared to tell.

So as we sit and watch her fiction,

I can't help but smile in envy.

For she steps over all the black cards,

riding on with a smile at her wake.

Yet still as we sit and watch her fiction,

I'm almost scared to breathe.

For what happens when she runs out of tape,

and the Illusionist's spin reverts back to reality?