The Girl Who Danced With The Snake (2)

Stupid scenario that played out in 1, considering the cause of her current woes - A and B - are the stars of the last show.
She was on the A/B team. She cheered them on, watched them grow and would have had the usual happy ending, had she not lingered on with them, like the fool she is here, and gotten herself into this current mess. Now, she isn't even sure there is any kind of cheering going on....

But she wishes them well, funny enough. Not sick, not sad, not pain. Just well. If going away is the only way they can be well, then pls, she will set them free.

H.A.G.L.
Have A Good Life. 

Cruelty Defined

You say you want to leave cause I'm a cruel person,
So let mi be cruel for you.
You say you want to leave cause I'm too cruel sometimes,
So let mi be cruel for you.

You said it was wrong for mi to walk out of a life whenever I felt like it,
You decided to walk into my life when you felt like it,
You decided to walk out as well when you gelt like it,
I'm yet to call you cruel.

You said it was wrong for mi to run away when it got bad. 
You decided to run cause you couldn't stand it/mi anymore,
You decided to run cause it was easier for you,
I'm yet to call you cruel.

You said I couldn't lie to you, and you understood mi best.
You decided to misunderstand/misinterpret all I say.
You decided to ignore my feelings cause you didn't understand,
I'm yet to call you cruel.

You said you could understand mi even when I don't say anything.
You decided, without telling mi, that statement was a bit of a stretch.
You decided I was bitter and you couldn't stand it. 
I'm yet to call you cruel.

Did you know it is easier to call a person cruel than to hear it being said??
Did you know it is easier to declare that a person as 'bitter' than to hear it being said??
Did you know it is easier to self-righteously leave than to be the one left behind??
Funny, as I'm yet to call you cruel.

A heart once scarred, knows how to be alone,
Understands how to be alone.
So I'd put my scarred heart back in place. 
I'd relearn how to make it heal.

A heart in pain, knows how to mend itself,
Understands its not the best healing.
So I'd put my pained heart back in place.
I'd relearn how to make it heal. 

I wish you a good life, 
Cause as you walk out that door, 
My heart closes with its sound. 
But its fine.
I'd mend again, I'd heal again, I'd be fine again,
Cause life continues. 
And this heart once opened, hurt and closed, never reopens again. 

He was human

He was gay,
He died.
His partner cried,
Society shunned.

Why though??

He was someone's child,
He was someone's hope.
He was someone's love,
He was someone's world.

He came out,
Got harassed.
Suicide.
His partner cried,
Society shunned.

Why though??

He also had a mother,
He also had a friend.
He also brought laughter,
He also brought joy.

He was,
He is,
He will remain,
Forever human.

Fair v Unfair

Funny how I ask to leave, at the appropriate time, and I get turned down. But then when it becomes too hard for everyone, like I thought it would be, when it becomes too congested for everyone, like I knew it would be, they all decide, maybe now is the time to flee. They all decide maybe being together is no longer conducive, and leaving is a good idea. 

Cute right??

Did anyone ever think it might be hard for mi now?? Did anyone ever think making mi stay when I didn't want to, making mi try to make it work when I didn't think it was a good idea, then telling mi to let it go might be just a little bit overly emotional for mi. 

Cruel she said.

Ya, maybe I'm cruel. Since in the end, I'm the one who is called cruel. In the end, I'm the one who needs to make random explanations. In the end, I'm the one who has to apologize to make everyone feel better. In the end, I'm the one who has to let it go and try and make it better. I do get hurt, but in the end, it doesn't really matter cause I'm the cruel one. 

Its my fault though. I'm the one who keeps expecting so much from people, I'm the one who gets hurt when that expectation is not met. I'm the one who trusts infinitely. I'm the one who gets hurt when that trust is broken. I'm the one who accepts all friends, and I'm the one whose friend gets told, in so many words, she is un-welcomed. 

I'm the one that pushes everyone away. I'm the one alone, like I knew from the start. I'm the one thinking 'maybe I could have endured a little bit, maybe I could have pretended I was fine for a little longer'. I'm the one that keeps writing and conducting the research on the fact that 'everyone leaves'.

I'm the one who is always right.

This time, before and probably next time.

Funny thing is, I'm still the one who would be asked what went wrong, held accountable and blamed, I'm still the one who would be called 'selfish' in the end. 
Maybe I really am selfish.
Maybe I really am cruel. 
Maybe I really deserve to be put here over and over.
In the end....

It's all mi in the end. 

lol, I should stick to South-east Asia, at least I understand them a little better. 

Cages

A wounded cat trapped in a four-walled space,
She runs around, fighting the claustrophobia, trying to pretend she is in the wild.
A wounded cat trapped and cornered,
They surround her, taking more of her freedom, draining more of her air.

Her natural instinct is to run,
Run and go nurse her wounds as she reunites with her freedom.
Trapped and cornered, she has no place to go.
Trapped and cornered, she has only one response.

Her natural instinct is to fight,
Lash out and hurt until her corner becomes a space and her space, freedom.
But it hurts her to fight so won't you set her free??
But it deepens her wound to fight so won't you let her be??

They say its selfish of her to want to be free,
She hurts others by wanting to be free.
But it hurts her to stay and not be free,
It hurts her to stay cornered and not run free.

But they won't let her go,
They won't let her be free,
They won't let her breathe,
So she must remain caged, wounded until one side breaks.

Death of a Flower

And the flower was spotted, 
it was watered,
it was nourished. 
It grew tall and handsome. 

Strong and swayed with the wind. 

And the flower blossomed, it was beautiful. 

We all loved it, we all admired it. 

We all wanted to stand next to it. 

Then the flower died.

It was pretty,  full of brightness the other day, and now it is no more.

It was envied, standing tall with pride, and now its is no more.

It was protected, surrounded by love and affection, and now it is no more.


And the flower was born, lived and grew.
And the flower was born, grew and died. 


And the flower was. 

....When he doesn't turn....

She stands by the window,
staring out.
It's windy outside, she notices,
'He would be cold' she thinks and smiles. 


She makes a bet with Mi,
a silly one to be honest.
No was an option, she didn't take it,
'If he cares, he'd look', we agree. 


I watch her lean in towards the window,
she touches it lightly.
We both know the outcome, silly bet. 
'Like watching a train wreck' she says and smiles. 


He comes out and pulls his hoody tighter,
she smiles the 'I-told-you-so' smile.
He walks to the parking lot and searches for his car,
she smiles the 'I-knew-it' smile.


He gets in his car and drives off,
she says a quick safety prayer.
I look at her, pained by the sadness in her eyes.
'Its not a win when you're on the same side' I say.


A silly bet,
A silly bet that was. 

...Dear Tasha...

My dear Tasha,

Do you know the sun did not shine today?

No, not in her lovely way!

For the skys have blocked her rays,

And earth is no longer in tune with her ways.

Both inside and outside, all is quit.

Not peaceful, more like a dark, cold night!

Feels like a bad omen,

Much worse than the nightmere.

Oh Tasha, where are you?

Is it true that your world too is blue?

For we here view your world as paradise,

but if it is blue, am afraid there would be none to still our cries!

And all we'd have left is....






....to be continued....

Chess Pieces.

These are the last words of warning I would say to you.

From here on out, I have no idea how life would play out for us. I would not lie to you- I am not scared, but I think that you should be though. I think that you should be terrified.

My little rival-kitten.

Do you know how to play chess? Well even if you say no, we both know with the mind games you play, 'yes', is the more reasonable answer. 

You've picked mi as your opponent. I feel you should know, I never loose. And in this game of ours, there are no foul moves. Everything is fair game. 

So come at mi with all you've got. Don't be afraid. I bite, but you said you can take it. Come at mi with all you've got, because I'd be doing the same and some.

And when we are done, the last words on your lips would be my name.

And when we are done, the last words from mi would be 'I told you so'. 

Happy Ending.

There is a boy talking to a girl and another girl.

And that other girl is she.

There is a boy talking to a girl and another girl.

The girl does not know it.

There is a boy talking to a girl and another girl.

She has seen this situation before.

There is a boy talking to a girl and another girl.

She was the girl in the last situation.

There is a boy talking to a girl and another girl.

'Is this reverse Karma??' She asks.

There is a boy talking to a girl and another girl.

The girl thinks of she as a friend.

There is a boy talking to a girl and another girl.

She does not know what she thinks of the girl.

There is a boy talking to a girl and another girl.

She feels a little guilty.

There is a boy talking to a girl and another girl.

But like watching a train wreck, she cant stop.

There is a boy talking to a girl and another girl.

Theres about to be two out of three happy endings.