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....her own world....

Weird is the very nice description you would get;
different would definitely be a good one;
metaphoric would make it to the top ten list;
but a thorned-rose best describes this blog.

Disclaimer: (Art above is not mine)
This blog might be a bit depressing for some, emotions might be stirred, feelings affected, questions left unanswered, etc. Viewer discretion is advised.... If you don't like what you see, don't comment. Just close the tab and it won't bother you anymore. :)
Mi

22 Jun 2014

Tired Tales

Today's original post was meant to be a comic piece, another 'Lagos adventure', but I'd have to leave it for another day.

So it's officially 27 days left. I'm excited and a bit 'odd feeling' at the moment. Too many balls in the air for my normal peace of mind, yet I am the calmest I've ever been. 
I know God's got mi covered. I just have to learn to listen to him more. 

Longest time I've spent with the family since I was 10. Moma got it right. I'm a bit too independent for my own good I guess. I feel at home yet a bit 'guestly' at the same time. The break flew by a lot faster. Felt like I was visiting old friends I'm quite comfy with. Learned a lot too. About my family, my country and politics. Sadly, most of my lessons are a bit negative. Or rather sad at the very least. 

But all the same, I am glad I spent time here rather than Korea. For once, I didn't feel like I was on the run. 
I am ready for my next adventure though.  And what an exciting one it's promising to be. 

Tired. More on 'The Wonderful Life of Mi' later. 
Chao
xo
Mi

12 Jun 2014

Breathless

Overwhelmed.
I need to let it out.
I need to shout.
I need to talk, scream, something.
Why?
Cause if I keep thinking I'd go insane.
If I keep trying to find answers to all these I'd go crazy.
I ask God. But it's like the more I ask, the more questions come up.
The only answer I know is that I have to go.
I know if I stay, I'd be stuck.
I can't explain how I know or why that scares me a lot, but it is.
Maybe because this is the longest I've stayed.
Maybe because I feel out of my depth and lost.
Maybe because I have a blank slate when 'this' is presented as my future.
Maybe because I simply do not want to.
But the questions keep on coming.
The answers keep on running.
I know if I talk this out I'd be fine.
But there is no one to talk to.
I mean everyone is around, but 'a someone' is missing.
Everyone else would ask more questions.
Everyone else would be equally burdened.
Everyone else....
I need to talk, scream, something.
I need to shout.
I need to let it out.
Overwhelmed.

4 Jun 2014

The Definition of an Adult

I took my younger sis (cousin) to a certain hospital to get a minor procedure done. I don't know if at some point in the night I prayed for God to increase my patience, but the amount of times I had to count backwards to keep myself from snapping is unthinkable.

We arrive and have to go look for - because it was a search - her lab results. After being ignored for the better part of 30 mins, the lady at the desk casually goes 'it's been moved to your file, go look for it in records'. I'm like you didn't know this before or what?? 
So we get to records. 
The ladies there are nice enough to say there is no such result in the file. At this point, a Dr shows up and I think 'oh someone with some sense is here'. Little did I know. 

She comes and sorts out the lab issue. Then she turns to my sis and goes 'did you come alone?' Because I have, obviously become a rock. So I said no, I came with her. Is there a problem. 
She gives mi a look. A 'you can't be serious' look. And then she goes 'how old are you'. 
Ah, that face again. Accompanied by a snort. 
So I tell her I'm 24.  She asks how we are related. We tell here we are cousins. 
And she's like let's sit down. 
Then she proceeds. 
"I'm not comfortable with the distant relationship" I ask what distant relationship is that. And she's like we need an adult to sign this since it's a legal document.  I'd prefer a mother or father or aunty or uncle to sign". 
By this point, I'm biting back my words. 
So my cousin says I'm as close as it can get, and she has no one else around so it's gotta be me. And then she goes "well we just need someone above 18...." And shrugs. 
So basically, I am not 'adult enough' in her eyes to be the guardian but whatever. Now for the icing. 
She decides to explain the consent form to mi. What it is, how to write my name, what to write, asking if I can spell the name of the procedure. All this is done in that tone you use to talk to a 5 year old. Seeing as I am only legally an adult and not a real adult of course. 
I breathe through all this. 

Cousin goes in for the procedure and I go to sit near the nurses' station. I say good afternoon, the nurses respond. I sit and begin reading. 
A nurse comes out and she says "We brought you here to come sit with us, you could have at least greeted the nurse sitting there". I stare at her and laugh. Cause at this point I am sure this is a trial. 
"I already greeted them" I respond. To which she goes "You should have come closer, she won't hear that kind of greeting". Dear God, give mi the strength. 
The other nurse must have noticed my face cause she calls the talking one over and tells her ya I did greet them. The the original speaker looks at mi and goes "Oh you greeted? It's okay, I just assumed". 
Of course my word was really not enough to convince her, and she doesn't need to apologize because well I am obviously younger. 
Save mi. 

I'd skip the irritating fellow that came to find out if I was the 'friend' or whatever I want to call it. As long as I am neither father, mother, aunty nor uncle, my status isn't of significance. 

So I come in to see her. She needs some medication and an injection. The doc asks why I haven't gone to fill out the prescription yet. How the hell was I to know there was an injection that needed a proscription filled before it could be administered?? 
I go to the pharmacy, in a different building, involving traveling through the sun.  After making mi wait for some time, the pharmacist tells mi to go back to the doc to get something changed on the proscription slip. Can I get the other drugs and go with those?? No. 
So I travel back to the ward. Of course, the doctor is missing. 
The nurses run around searching for him, then the matron tells mi to go search for some more nurses and have them search for the doctor. Can't be bothered to ask why that has become my duty. 
Don't find him so the matron goes to find someone else. Eventually the form is changed. 
I go to the pharmacy, the lady is asking mi what took mi so long. I get the drug and head back to the ward. One of the physicians tells mi I should have brought this to them earlier. 
I smile and nod. Because I'm this close to cursing him out and it won't be nice. 

Did I mention I had to go drop some specimen at the lab - a lab I had to search for by the way - and the lab tech tells mi to come back in three weeks for the result. Of course, I ask him 'result of what test'?? And he says of the specimen. So I ask what tests he will be running on it?? (naturally, no one informed mi there was going to be a test so I have to ask why I need to make this perilous journey again). He looks at mi and says 'the result of the test for the specimen'. Is it so hard to tell mi what kind of test you plan on running???? 

So I'm seating here willing myself to breathe and just ignore. I'm not mad because I had to run around aimlessly, or because they didn't think to make calls to the different departments to make sure what's needed is there, no. I'm mad because the only reason for all this was simply because I am not 'adult' enough in their eyes. They called mi 'baby' the entire time. Since half of them were my age, I'm not sure why that name appeared appropriate to begin with. They would not have talked to my mum like that or sent her on errands the way they did mi. Or be extra condecending in their speech. My cousin said it's cause I look young/not my age. So they thought I might have been lying about my age. 
My point is this, if someone is signed as the guardian to another person, especially for a procedure, it means the parents of the child has consented that said person is responsible enough to handle the situation, and should be treated with the same courtesy and respect you would award a parent in that situation. I don't give a crap if you've been in the business for years. 
You don't do that. 
Ok back to regular activities. Lol