Deadly weapon

She hides from them in hope that he looses focus,
the things she does to get him to notice her,
she counts in his absence, not minding who is around.
A crush she calls it, but destruction I do.
She hates it.
For it reminds her of how she was and her insecurities.
She hates her.

He adores another and there is no helping it.
She is a friend, and there is no helping it.
No matter how much seduction she puts in,
Its too late.
He adores another and there is no helping it
She is a friend and there is no helping it.

No matter how much seduction she thinks she puts in,
Its too late, he adores another, she can't hurt that other.
And she does not work seduction.
Life's a bitch aint it?

So I shall remain the suicide watch,
As she is too far gone to tell.
Too bad she always wants what she cant have or cant keep.
Life is a bitch, and she is living it

Reservoir Chronicles: The Punisher

She binds herself in ropes of steel,

in mental torture that puts mi in semi-agony.

What heinous crime has she committed,

that she would choose her self-torture to be so?

We hold our breaths as the egg-shells we walk on crack,

for today might have her awoken blank.

Or sad, or depressed, or filled with self loathe.

For a crime, we cannot identify, committed.

She reinforced her conscience with the fires of hell,

and now as a back fire she burns with guilt.

On the road of pleasure, guilty pleasure,

for abstaining, guilty desire, and for doing, guilty deeds.

At what point does the balm awaken?

Little one listen,

for you seem not to know the meaning of a crime.

Though your core-conscience is like a babe's,

that innocence might be the death of you.

You strangle yourself with un-understandable guilt,

a guilt that to us is but an illusion.

Let the real punisher do his job and be, for he has no page on you,

let the punisher be and stop writing your own self-created sins at will.

Reservoir Chronicles: The Illusionist

Her eyes sparkle every time,

but the ring of self-defense still remains.

She gives the illusion of intimacy,

but a'lass, that is but a one way street.

She hides behind Jericho's walls,

reinforced with steel.

So the hologram she projects of her life,

that which you see, is not she.

Life did not deal her a fine hand,

but all thought she took it with a smile.

Yet behind the illusion of joy she presents,

the lost and lonely broken child sleeps.

Shielded behind Jericho's walls,

guarded by herself./

Rescue might come around,

but a'lass its too dark and she too scared to tell.

So as we sit and watch her fiction,

I can't help but smile in envy.

For she steps over all the black cards,

riding on with a smile at her wake.

Yet still as we sit and watch her fiction,

I'm almost scared to breathe.

For what happens when she runs out of tape,

and the Illusionist's spin reverts back to reality?

A Lover's Prayer

I do not want to be loved by you till insanity,

Because when I make a mistake,

I am treated by the insane psychopath that

Your love has made you become.

I do not want to have you sacrifice all for mi,

Because then you would demand I give you my all,

And when I cannot because I am human and selfish,

Hell comes asunder.

I do not want to be thought of by you constantly,

Because then you become controlling,

And when I try to plan a surprise for you,

I could get shot for cheating because I can't tell you where I am.

Love mi if you must love mi, But love Him more.

Sacrifice for mi when you must sacrifice, But always for Him more.

Think of mi enough to make mi smile, But have Him in your thoughts more.

For if I do the same, we would have just the right amount to make our cup full....

Sleeping Fairy

'I want to see you tomorrow'. I reread that text.
Over and Over, Over and Over....
I close my eyes. Maybe sleep will come.
I open my eyes.
Ahh, tomorrow is here. I glance at the clock.
11:30pm.
How can the tomorrow I always dread seem so far away all of a sudden? How can it be that only 3 hours have passed since I went to sleep?
I have never waited for a day for so long. My heart throbs with anticipation and fear.
I want to see him. I want to see him now.
I am scared to see him. What does he have to say? What does he want to tell mi so earnestly by that fountain. I am scared it might not be what I want to hear. But I want to see him.
There is no sense in this. Waiting? There is no reason for all that.
I get off my bed and change.
"I'll come over in 10mins" is the text I sent him.
I change faster than I have ever before and run down the stairs.
My heart racing, My mind in a fog.
What do I say when I show up? I couldn't wait? I wanted to see you now? Too cheesy?
"Hika you up?" My mother says as I get down.
"Yes, I couldn't sleep. Want to go out for a bit" I respond.
She laughs.
"Couldn't sleep? Huni its 11:50pm."
I look at her quizzically.
"You've been asleep the whole day! I was getting worried...."
Her voice trails off....now what do I say when I do see him....