I woke up this morning feeling like I just woke up from a really bad dream. Problem wasn't the dream I just had. It felt like 'Mi' suddenly woke up to realize someone else had been living my life the past few years. And a close review of that person's actions felt very much like it should be a bad dream.
HSR: The reincarnation of a life/past you assumed dead but rudely awaken to.
Thats all am going to say about that.
I realized recently, well last night, that I am a social/emotional chameleon. Doesn't that mean I have no true identity per say?? Well only around them I believe. I think everywhere else, I am Mi, but once around them, I become....well frankly speaking I still have no clue on that. lol.
Thing is, Idk if I want to be sad about that or what emotional feelings I should have to this new discovery. I normal person would be quite disturbed. I was disturbingly intrigued by how easy it was for mi to change colors at 'need' and I think that fact bothered mi a bit. But the problem is I think I am only a chameleon when I don't feel the need to make an effort to let you see mi. Which, being the case it seems with all of them, makes the situation extra sad.
Idthink I am making much sense.
As for the title, I was going to say I would try and be 'Mi' with everyone as my New Year's Resolution, but as I went along with the writing, I realized that in itself would be a lie. To get there, I need to trust. Since I haven't found a reason to revisit that chapter, I would keep that little resolution elsewhere. One aspect I would stop' chameleoning' with though is the status change. Quite frankly its tiring, pathetic and down right unlike mi. lol. So I'd be single again. Scratch that, I am single. (sigh of relief).
Don't worry about understanding all this cause I didn't even try to as I wrote it. lol.
