3 Months Down....

....4 years and some change to go.

Congratulations to mi, I just completed my first quarter of PhD graduate school. (Cheerrrrrsssss!!!!)
Here is the much procrastinated count down of 10 things I learned thus far. (Drum rolls!!!!)

10. Being stuck in a location filled with other psychologists (to-be) is emotionally and mentally exhausting. Hence, the appreciation of the quarter system.

9. On that note, completing the first quarter does not, as anticipated, bring with it a sense of relief. Simply more exhaustion.

8. Consistency and communication, among people in office is a thing of the 80s. Inconsistency is the norm now. So generalizability is not only unacceptable with clients, it is also unacceptable with school rules, regulations and instructions. Get with the program.

7. There is a high correlation between Starbucks' coffee sales and the level of tolerance psychologists (who are trained/training to deal with people's feelings) have for each other. If Starbucks is the go-to drug for the 'experts', why are millions still paying for experts??

6. There is, apparently, such a thing as a 'stupid question'.  It is a psychologist's/(to be) job to point that to you, in an ever so passive-aggressive (or what I like to call British polite) way.

5. It is very okay to stereotypically diagnose someone based on your 'cultural consideration'. Also okay to throw that out the window, if I deem an existence of 'clinical impairment'.

4. Saying 'xx is a thing' is, apparently, a thing.

3. The DSM was probably written by a bunch of individuals with a DSM diagnosis, some of whom are certifiable.... (shh, no telling).

2. Overthinking + Psychology classes = Nervous breakdown. Don't do it.

1. In psychology world, there is no such thing as a 'yes' or a 'no'. It ALWAYS depends.

And as a bonus: Kids in this state were raised differently from the rest of the world; AND; they think that it's normal.... 

Mi and Manhattan on the 16th

So I went to the city today, and for the time I spent there, the day, I was given a rather untraditional awakening to the reality of my relationship-status-situation. Apparently, mi not having a boyfriend seems to be a problem.
Let mi explain.
The day: Went to the city with a friend to get some work done. She then ditches mi to go see her bf in New Haven. That was part of the plan anyway and is not unusual. Anyway, I decide to walk around a bit cause there was no sense rushing back to Teaneck. Did I mention that said friend had spent the better part of the morning trying to explain to mi why she has been working so hard at trying to get mi a bf/to hook up with someone?? No?? My bad. 
Moving on.
I decide to go to the movies, randomly, and walk in. I got to the ticket counter and I said "A ticket to 'Girl with the Dragon Tattoo' please" (amazing movie by the way, I totally recommend it and am about to buy the books. haha). 
I digress. 
Anyway, the guy at the counter looks at mi and says "Girl with the Dragon tattoo, for 2?" And am like 'huh? (laugh) no' one pls.' He gives mi this "thats pathetic" look. 
lmao. I've always had a thing against watching movies alone, but this was a first for mi (and a fun experience might I add), so I didnt really begrudge him on the look. After all I was there once before. 
Anyhu, I sit on this empty row, only to be surrounded by couples, on all four sides, in a few minutes. Now I know there was some form of romance in that movie, but really now, it was no 'The Vow' or something, so why was it date night out all of a sudden?? 
No biggie. Enjoyed my movie, had my fun.
I got to the train station and am sitting down, this 50-60 something year old guy comes and sits next to mi. He says hi, I say hi back and we had some small talk. 
Then he asked where I was going. I told him Teaneck. And then he says "Oh, your boyfriend waiting for you?" (his 1st language isnt English). I laughed (at the irony that everyone picked today among other reasons) and said I dont have one. 
He goes "Why?" 
Now I would be honest, that might have been the hardest question I've ever been asked. And as hard questions go, naturally, I didnt have an answer. So I said, idk. And he says "What do you mean you don't know? Everyone always knows why" (Funny, I wasnt quite aware of that but ok....haha). 
Then he says 'Thats so sad'. lmao. At that point, with his tone, expression and etc, it really did sound like he was talking about mi having a terminal illness!! I had to laugh cause I've never really been told 'Thats so sad' to not having a bf.
And he wont let up!!
We got on the bus, he sat next to mi (naturally), and continued with the sadness of mi not having a bf, and other small talk topics. He also offered to help hook mi up with someone if I wanted (was nice enough to ask for my preference). 
haha. 
As annoying as the charade sounds, he was a nice and sweet old man, and was fun to talk to. Full of stories, when my singleness wasn't the issue, and all that. We parted ways after exchanging email addresses (by his request) and him promising to email mi (am assuming prospects as well....didn't get his words, couldn't understand). haha. He has no kids so I couldn't imagine him trying to pimp out his son(s)....oh and he thought I was of Spanish origin. haha.
All in all, a fun day in Manhattan. 

Reservoir Chronicles: The Real Mi

"Let me tell you about Mi" she said....

....I chase after something that I myself do not know....

....I have the ability to kill, and I know it....

....Everything about life is a game to me, you loose some, you win some....

....I like good boys because its a puzzle finding whats bad about them....

....I hate self sacrifice....

....I smile as a reaction to all things, no emotional change....

"Let me tell you about Mi" she said....

....There is someplace I want to be, though I don't know where....

....I hate it when people make a completely false image about me to me....

....I love boys because they are more complicated and fun to pick apart....

....I would go with you to any length, simply to see how far you would go....

....I don't like girls partly because I am one....

...I want someone to understand me, yet I don't want to tell anyone about me....

....I love fast things....

....I love 'happily-ever-afters' in others...

....I want someone to tell us apart, yet I don't want to give any hints....

....And as I stared and listened to her, I wanted to say....

There is a fire in your eyes,

and it flashes through your smile.

There is a radiance that i know only comes with my glow.

There is a reason that I'm here,

And its something that I fear,

We refuse to release the other,

And there in lies the problem.

The Illusion before you,

Is a mere shadow of what lies beneath.

The face you see,

Is a mere representation of what side it holds.

The voice you hear,

Is a mere cover for the true tales it tells.

The smile you behold,

is never loyal to one emotion.

Would you like to see the real Mi??

As would I.

日本 + Arabian Nights + いもとうのふく + 6 inches=....

So I have been postponing this post for the better part of my stay thus far, maybe out of some wish for a divine understanding of the situation I am in now. But since the intervention has not come yet, I would go ahead and post.
I find the Japanese guys' costume (because that is what it is) nothing short of amazing! The boys have three main attires from what I can tell, and two of which are part of the subject of this monologue.

First off, the Younger sister collection.
When did it become generally acceptable for boys to wear very tight fitting capris, most tighter than any pair of pants I own!?! I was mostly alarmed when I realized it was more than a select few who chose this as the attire of the day. I have nothing against the Japanese fashion sense (I feel I should point this out before we go on), but dang those capris! I am sorry, but a guy in capris cannot really expect mi to take him all that seriously! Then the ones who decide to accessorize theirs with an assortment of pink belts, chains and stars, yet swear that they stick to clams are a very interesting bunch I must say. You know there is a problem when your boy friend's pants are not only tighter or just as fitting as yours, but are also more brightly colored than yours!
Note: There is nothing manly about wearing a pair of capris. There is nothing masculine about wearing a pair of brightly colored capris. It is most distracting....lol

Now we go to Arabian nights.
I must say, for something so out of the norm, these kids can pull it off! Sure they look like they are meant to star in Disney's Aladin, but do they pull them off. It looks pretty comfortable I must say, and would definitely not fair well worn in America, but they look perfect in them. lol.

Ah the blessed 6 inch heels.
I love heels. I have more heels than regular shoes, and more shoes than clothes, so believe mi when I say I love and have nothing against them. But there is nothing that would possess me to wear 6 inch heels to class on a daily basis! Aside from the fact that Carbondale's road does not provide room for such luxury, 12 hours in heels is not fun for anyone.
This is why I have to respect the Japanese girls, or at least the ones here for their tenacity! These babes rock heels, not lower than 4 inches, to class everyday. I stare at the shoes and I am like 'OMG that is gorgeous' but then I look at the sky and go 'Its freaking 12pm now, is she gonna be in that for the rest of the day?' But they rock it. At least some of them do. Some you feel the need to walk behind because you are sure she will fall over in the next minute, or you feel super sorry for because she looks like she is in pain.
But dang, the do have some very gorgeous very expensive shoes!

So now that I have come here and realized that the reality of my dream extended more than 2 months in Japan, I have of course, as we all know, began the process of a more extended stay. lol. Would let you know more about that in detail later.
Now off to study for my 単語と感じ quiz, as I continue to question myself and my sanity for this....lol.
Dang, do I love Japan!

Sleeping Fairy

'I want to see you tomorrow'. I reread that text.
Over and Over, Over and Over....
I close my eyes. Maybe sleep will come.
I open my eyes.
Ahh, tomorrow is here. I glance at the clock.
11:30pm.
How can the tomorrow I always dread seem so far away all of a sudden? How can it be that only 3 hours have passed since I went to sleep?
I have never waited for a day for so long. My heart throbs with anticipation and fear.
I want to see him. I want to see him now.
I am scared to see him. What does he have to say? What does he want to tell mi so earnestly by that fountain. I am scared it might not be what I want to hear. But I want to see him.
There is no sense in this. Waiting? There is no reason for all that.
I get off my bed and change.
"I'll come over in 10mins" is the text I sent him.
I change faster than I have ever before and run down the stairs.
My heart racing, My mind in a fog.
What do I say when I show up? I couldn't wait? I wanted to see you now? Too cheesy?
"Hika you up?" My mother says as I get down.
"Yes, I couldn't sleep. Want to go out for a bit" I respond.
She laughs.
"Couldn't sleep? Huni its 11:50pm."
I look at her quizzically.
"You've been asleep the whole day! I was getting worried...."
Her voice trails off....now what do I say when I do see him....