Broken Record

There are some friends that make you feel like an addict and a begger all blended into one. 

An addict cause you feel the need to keep them in your life, you can't live without them you seem to think. Though unsaid, it's clear your more obsessed with their existence than they are yours. You try to quit them, but like a broken junkie, you keep relapsing. You try to stay away. 

'Maybe if I don't call this week, they'd notice and call mi'. Never happens. You barely make the week before you call; terrified that the silence would make you nonexistent in their lives. 

A begger because it seems you grovel for  their attention. You're ecstatic when they contact you on those rare occasions. Like Christmas came early and Santa chose you as 'Best Kid of the Year'. 

You beg them to keep in touch, all the while hating yourself slowly because you know they don't even realize what they are doing - the worst bloody aspect of the entire issue. 

Then they do something unfathomable. Like forgetting your birthday for instance. The one day you have always held dear; because no matter what, you know it is the God given day you can get your much desired fix. Your conversation with them. But they forget. 

With all the social media, you can't even find the usual excuses you make to justify their actions. 

They forget, and rather than being mad, you find yourself sad and disappointed. Mostly in yourself. It isn't a first - only before, you preempted the situation and performed damage control by reminding said person indirectly. 

Now you sit here wondering if 'friendship' is really the word to describe this dysfunctional relationship. 

You sit here, silently hoping they call - though it's been days. Cause like a love sick puppy, you'd forgive them anything as you both know in this relationship, you need them more. 

You know what I'm talking about, right?? No?? Well aren't you just the f'kn perfectly whole human??