Fables

I think I was surprised when I saw the invasion of the blue mud,
Imagine my utter shock when the eye of the rock began to speak!
Is it really that tough coming up with a reason to ruin a relationship?
Or was it merely in his case that his fear was as foul as the stench of a rat?
For it formed a cloak around him, which bit into the air of all who drew near;
And he wore it as a vest, even in the seasons the sun burned the earth.

I got a sharp ache in my chest when I heard the doctor had fixed her eyesight.
For she had had a tough accident years back, and I told her then that the bruises on her face were nothing but significant beauty spots to help keep the memory of the accident clear in her mind, and that she looked hot!
I lied
No use telling a girl even a monkey would not date her now, if she can no longer see or walk.

Never let your child's first kiss be given by an inexperienced asshole.
It is almost as bad as giving her sawdust for her first meal as a baby.
Then you suddenly wonder why she acquired a taste for humans instead, and then reflect upon your ways when you find out your body is her first choice for meat and blood.
I think it is time to wake up though, as I have spent the last decade of my life asleep, hoping time too slept with me.