Blank Roses

You wait eagerly for dawn,
and as soon as the day breaks,
you await the night fall with even more longing.

You are like that silly teenage girl, who just had her first crush.
You stand impatiently waiting for him to pass by,
on his way to life of course.
And once he passes by, you instantly await his return,
moving by you, once more, on his way again.

So in that second between night and day,
In the time when the world is neither here nor there,
Neither light nor dark,
I choose to tell you this,
as your attention is waver-able.

Waiting, longing, wishing, hoping...wanting...
Doesn't it bother you that you continue this pattern knowing not what you die slowly for?
Does it not make you sad to follow through with this daily?
It sickens me to have to watch you so.
Like a junkie, you chase after the next high.
Well aware of the implications after the buzz is gone.
Aimless, you wonder the earth, simply doing things because one told you to.

In case you were not aware,
I do loathe you.
I loathe the way you have perfected your fake smiles for the world;
While inside, behind closed doors, I am forced to watch you wither in the abject misery you have dumped yourself and cannot escape.

I do loather you.
I loathe the fact that you neither laugh nor cry.
You simply sit, and in sitting, wait.
With each day and each night that pass,
you simply watch.
Then at it's dawn,
You pause...
Wait...
And then gently sigh.
As if to say 'Ah, not here yet? Well maybe at the next turn."
What the hell is it you wait, pathetically, for?
I cannot even ask you this, because you yourself are at a loss.

Yet as much as I seem to despise you,
I cannot leave you.
It is not merely because we are bound to each other.
Maybe because I do need you?
I fear that abandoning you would kill you,
and that it is a fate I too would not survive.
Our hearts only beat as one...when it does beat...
I want you all to myself, yet near you,
I want you far from me.

So I guess we are alike in our indecisiveness.
Just yours puts us in a blank dark world.
Unable to move forward or backwards, we remain lost.
Watching life and waiting for...I guess...a part of life.
This state I clearly despise...and I feel deep down, do you too.

I adore and abhor you,
You adore and abhor Mi.
But this knowledge does make us the safest for each other, does it not?
You for Mi,
Mi for you.
Thy peace art mine,
As mine art thine...or the lack of it there of.