Today she tried....Cry for Help....

Today she tried to kill herself once more.
It hurt as the knife met her wrist, so she tried another object.
It hurt through that process still, but she laughed.
She laughed because for the first time in months, the pain let her cry.
She laughed because it was ridiculous that she had to hurt herself some more before she could cry from the internal pain.
It hurt, but the pain felt good. Good enough that she wanted more.


Today, for the first time in years, she tried to kill herself.
Yet today, for the first time, the knife wouldn't go in.
She felt so pathetic. Even in this, she had lost the edge and the nerve.
She felt so pathetic. Even in this battle, she had lost.
She laughed because despite her loss, she welcomed the pain.
She laughed because the physical pain brought relief to the emotional, how pathetic was she.


Today, she tried to kill herself once more.
Sadly, there would have been many who would have been hurt if she had succeeded.
Sadly, there would be many who would be hurt if they knew she had tried.
Sadly, she enjoyed the relief the thought of slipping away brought her.
Sadly, it all came to an end.


Today, she tried to kill herself once more.
The pain in her wrist, raw as before.
She wished she could have completed it this time.
But like before, she is still too cowardly to go the full mile....