Family Affairs

     Going 'home' is always a batch of mixed emotions. And the longer I stay, the more the sad emotions overwhelm. 

Before leaving in the beginning, I understood that I would has to sacrifice family to leave so far. With the ones I knew, it wasn't so bad. It's the ones I don't know that sort of hurt. 

Which is basically my dad's entire family line, save a few. 

    

Family issues and etc made it so we never grew up together like mum's side. So meeting them is like meeting strangers. We are all grown up with different works/paths in life. Do you know how freaking awkward it is to go see family and firs be introduced as family, then have nothing to say and get 'thanked for coming' when leaving?? Try doing all that when an 'uncle' (technically speaking) passes away. So the first time you meet the family is to say 'sorry for you-our?? loss'/nice to meet you. Of course we don't know what said uncle looked like so there's that. 

It makes sitting in the room with all that family the loneliest place on earth. 

Then there is the funny aspect of the siblings not being close, to the point that they keep calling each other to get directions to the house of the late brother. How don't siblings know where each other live?? In the same state. It's so weird. 

The entire family is weird. 

Afterwards, I'm just exhausted, have a progressing migraine, and in need to sleep. 

But there's no one to tell this all to, so of course we smile and fake it. 

Mi