Why??

Why am I sad right now??
Why do I feel like I need to cry for a few hours to feel better??
Why does it feel like I can't use my words right now??
Why does it feel like I can't be understood right now??
Why does it feel like I need someone to hold mi and tell mi it's okay to cry right now??
Why does it feel like I need someone to be here and not understand but be okay right now??
Too many emotions, and all I want to know is why??

First Step.

I'm not numb.
Sometimes I think I'm angry.
Other times I think I'm sad.
Most times, I'm afraid to think about how I feel because I don't know....
When you are mad, you yell at someone.
When you are sad, you cry or let it out at someone.
But if you don't let yourself feel these things in relation to a person out of fear,
thinking about it, thats unfair to the person.
So you are both wrong.
Making someone how to prove the existence of your relationship to you, out of fear,
That's exhausting and also unfair.
I started this off thinking I don't want to feel or face how I feel because I'm afraid.
The old mi would have stopped there.
But now, I'm putting myself in the other person's shoes.
if someone I think I'm close with constantly doubts that and wants proof, how will I feel??
Shitty is the answer.
So, in this case, we are both wrong.
One wrong for breaking the other's trust.
The other wrong for not facing how she feels about the trust-breakage completely.
Acknowledging is the first step, now on to the next.

xo

Mi

Little Things

It's the little things in life that make mi smile. 

The comedy, the drama, the brief moments of laughter. 

It's the little things in life that make mi smile.

The surprise texts, calls, letters....oh the letters. 

It's the little things in life that make mi smile. 

It's also the little things in life that bring mi tears. 

xo