Heaven Knows Best

A cry for help we call it.
We all rationalize and try to explain it. But I don't think there is a rational explanation for the pain that comes with emotional distress. The kind that makes you constantly exhausted even after hours of rest. The kind that makes you constantly lonely even in the midst of people you know believe they care. The kind that makes you constantly yearning, even with an abundance.
When the darkness closes in, it feels suffocating; foreign yet familiar. Threatening and nonthreatening at the same time. You want to tell someone, but the fear that they wouldn't understand, or worse, offer you that hope that you believe won't last keeps you. You want to tell someone, but it feels like the darkness will intensify; engulf and swallow you if you speak out or make your presence known.
And then slowly, you give up fighting; give up wrestling; stop hoping. A calmness sets in, as you feel it become you.

Woke up to the news of Shinee's Junghyun's death.

RIP

xo