What Have You Done So Far?

Watched a movie today about three old women who saved for most of their life wanting to go to Hawaii, and in the end, lost all the money and never made the trip. 

Then I read an article about a 20 something year old Nigerian girl who set up an air ambulance service in Nigeria. 

All I could think to myself was 'What have you done with your life so far??'

Some people might say I have achieved a lot, but its weird cause I don't feel that way. Maybe because everything with mi seems to start and get completed and then I move on, so I feel like I haven't done anything. I mean I have all these ideas I've thought about but never really put too much thought or effort into....

Partly cause despite being Nigerian, I feel I don't have as much patriotism as a lot of people seem to. The passion to 'go back and change my home land' isn't really burning in mi. A part of mi does feel some what guilty about this. I mean I should have love for my mother land, no?? But at the same time, I cannot say I would go back home to settle and 'make a change' cus I know I won't be happy. Thats the one thing I am sure about. 

I've always been a cat, or a bird or whatever animal you want to call it that loves freedom. Being tied down to one country seems so.... sometimes I wish it was possible to be a citizen of the world. Like does it really matter if the difference I want to make isn't in a specific country?? Does it matter if people don't know about it?? 

I wish I could tell myself it didn't. I think rather than people, I'm the one who feels like.... I guess I just need to.... no, its not that I want to do something big and drastic like change the world or etc, but I would like two things, probably separate from each other - to touch the life of a child or children in a special way, and to start something that would be recognized.... ah, maybe they don't have to be separate after all. 

I always wanted to start up an orphanage for kids. But more than the normal kind. One where they would be taken care of till educational wise as well, with free education all the way to college/technical school. My only problem was where to locate it. People would say in my home country of course, but thats not the only place where orphans are located now is it?? Maybe I can do a house in different country. Have a certain number of kids around the world....like Oprah's children. 

Maybe I can do this, but I'd have to start small. Like adopt a kid for instance.... virtually.....sponsor maybe?? Or get people to sponsor....should I go into child psychology??

Ah, I'd need to look into this more and pray some more.

 For now, I'm tired. I'd drive myself insane keeping myself company for too long, I just know it.