Once upon a time

Once upon a time she was sure she had a definite answer, once she was sure she could tell. Once she was sure about her days.Once she was sure, but that was all once before. Many people say life sucks. They have friends, family and people around who love them and would shed tears at their death. She has all of those, except those around. Sometimes in life, those around are the ones that count the most. 
Once she had a tablet made of gold, telling where her life began and where it ended, for all to behold. The tablet stayed, but her beholders did fade.

Once upon a time I made a mistake I now pay for. Once upon a time I was ten, and I started something I now wish to stop. When you get a ball rolling from up hill, it is really hard to get it to stop when you want it to. It is not impossible, but it it impossibly difficult to do so. The best advice people often give is don't get the ball stated anyway. Why didn't anyone tell me this before I let it go? Now when I try to tell someone I want to stop, they ask why I ever started! It's hard enough gathering the courage to tell, it gets worse - the feeling - when you get that question!

Once upon a time I lived for a purpose, and that purpose I truly could tell. I was sure of it and even sure of the end, until fate took her stand and sent me off course again. I'm lost in a world of the unknown. Lost in a place and time of different circumstances from my last. I walk a lonely road in this new place. No one would help me for long, everyone is a friend to the new era. I alone seem lost, I alone seem alone. I alone seem to be caught between two worlds, one I wish for and one am given. I talk alot - mostly to my self - about the things that go on. All those who love me are far away, and when I try to talk to them, they say it will be okay. Is it I alone who knows that "will" is an indefinite term? Is it I alone who knows that "will" is synonymous for undefined? So I stick to me, because I can see what is going on truly, and I know better than to tell me it "will" be okay!

So each night when I lie in my bed, I dream. I dream about a world now far away, a world where tomorrow was known today. I dream of a time when the birds could sing, and I could tell their next lines before they got to them. I dream of a time when I had a plan, when things did not just happen, where fate lent a hand and did not lend a blow!

But most of all, I dream of Once Upon a Time...