The trilogy: My word...

U know when you are down under water, then after a while u start loosing oxygen and u need to come up for air? Well I think thats what happened to me, except that I actually came up almost too late, thus my almost drowning fiasco of last night.

I have never felt the way I felt last night. Do you know what it means to almost drown in yourself? Well I got that feeling for the first time last night. I felt like crying, laughing, screaming, dieing, living, running and hurting myself all at once. It was scary. One minute I was fine, and the next, I wanted out. Don't ask me out of what or where, cause I honestly can't say. I just felt I needed to let it out or get out of it! I guess was simply tired of being with myself. It's like being stuck in a cave with someone for too long, especially one of the same sex. You try to relax and enjoy the time at first, then you get bored, then tired, then frustrated, then sick of the person, and then you feel the desperate need to get out! The mere thought of going to bed, to be awoken to the sight of the same person is a "day mere" horrifying enough to keep you awake! Yet when you are awake, all you see is the same person and you are not sure which is the better option.

I might have drowned last night, and I would be telling a different tale from a different location right now, but the mere fact that I did not is proof that there really is a God. He has a way of intervening at the nick of time! But I must admit, it was a really terrifying experience. I cannot explain it properly. Here the cliche "experience is the best teacher" comes to play, yet I do not wish this experience for anyone I know!

They say life is what you make it, but am living proof that that is not always true. Sometimes you are given a scene to play in life that you never trained for. A scene that is totally not in you league. The thing about the stage in life is that once you are to play a part and the scene comes on, you cannot run off stage unless that is in your script. No matter how fast you think you are, or how hard you try to run, it is and would remain the same scene you are to star in for as long as it lasts.

Last night I learnt again one very true meaning and function of a friend. If you really think you are a loner, or that being one would sooth you best, think again. I tell you, it is better to live with someone and get sick of that person, that to live with yourself and get sick of yourself too... With someone, you can choose to ignore, be pissed, but you would get over it. With yourself, it is impossible to shut the voice in your head without hurting yourself. You just need a Father that knows when to step in like mine, and always has the right answer to all problems...

...take my word for it, the voice in your head should never be given enough liberty to control you, for it would destroy you in the end...